July 6, 2008

Links: Remember that time we got Hossa?

I'm already tired of "Links" being the title to link dump posts. If any person who secretly reads this site -- or just a random Stumbling stranger -- comes up with a better name, they get a free car. I really have no means of making that happen, but dammit, I'll sure try sort of. For now, "Links" will have to do.

I want a catchy title though. Not like "Link Time", or "Linkamania" or something fruity like that. It needs to make people say "I'm gonna stop and read this even if somebody sets me on fire right now." You know how Don Cherry has "Coach's Corner" and how Chris Berman has "The Two Minute Drill"? Well, I want that.

"Wait -- you want to be an old, crusty television fucktard who either laments about the same Neanderthal nonsense every day or vomits recycled jokes that are so tired and unfunny that you contemplate suicide whenever you yell absurdities like "Jon Kitna Kaboodle?"

Uh, sure.

In other news, I went to the Detroit Zoo today. Animals and shit. It was a great time that was made doubly greater when we finished out the day at the penguin exhibit, and this greeted us at the entrance:

I don't really give a damn that "Winginarium" is an indefensibly awkward pun that made me nauseous just trying to pronounce it -- I'm just glad that the people running the penguin house had a good enough sense of humor to think of this. I think that when they eventually take down the banner it should be permanently replaced by a 24 foot-high concrete bust of Marian Hossa's head.

Red Wings
  • Keeping track of our divisional foes: The Blackhawks are getting serious with this "trying to not suck" thing. On the flip side, they're shelling out a large sum of money and are now over the cap, and need to make a move to make up for it. Not very Hollandesque, if I might so smugly point out.
  • Filppula headed for arbitration. This can be looked at as good or bad -- Good that no other teams can send an offer sheet his way now, but bad if arbitration values him in the $3.5 mil range (in which case, the Wings would have to part with another player to fit under the cap ..... wait a minute, wait ..... that player could be Lilja. Oh my Jesus. Let this happen.)
  • Hossa happier in Motown than in Pittsburgh, where allegedly he was forced to trim his pubic hairs and paste them to Sydney Crosby's face for the playoffs.

  • Bless You Boys with extending thoughts on Zach Miner. Best line: "Remember when the Tigers traded Denny Bautista because they'd designated him for assignment and he was out of minor league options? And they could've sent down Miner instead? Okay, just checking."

  • James Jones a good fit for the Pistons. Also emphasized in the article is that Joe Dumars is not looking to beef up the roster via free agent signings, but trades. They are, however, still looking to resign Theo Ratliff and Lindsey Hunter, the latter of which would be expected to play less than he did last season. Including playoffs, Lindsey only played in 35 games ... what's the point in bringing back a 37 year-old point guard when his previous playing time of 35 games is going to be cut?

  • Lions camp preview. 3rd round pick RB Kevin Smith is drawing some (good) attention already. After reading this I feel decent about the offense ... the line is always a question mark but, like the piece alludes to, hopefully with Martz gone things will run more smoothly. And maybe they can stay on the field longer now that "running the ball" won't be the 4th option behind "pass long", "pass short," and "pass to Darren Sharper".
  • Ernie Sims to have a breakout year? Perhaps, if he doesn't collapse first: "The Lions' 32nd-ranked defense was on the field for 1,087 plays last season - almost two full games more than an above-average defense." I can see how that would wear somebody out.
  • Shaun Rogers is liking Cleveland. "I'm happy to be where I'm wanted," he says. We wanted you too, douche bag. We just wanted you to be in better shape than this guy. I'm surprised that you weren't demanding to have an oxygen mask installed in your helmet.

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