August 22, 2008

NHL Uniform Rankings, part II

For Part I click here. And for a picture of Brent naked click here.


#15 ~ OTTAWA SENATORS

Tyler: One of the best logos in the game. Wicked number font. Running out of shit to say about these teams....Okay, okay, focus. Ottawa used to have some seriously horrible jerseys. They've rebounded and put out a combo of red/black white without zany stripes or patterns or shoulder garbage. Gotta like that red.

Brent: I don't know what Tyler sees in these jerseys that warrant such a high ranking. They're boring, bland, all around generic. Red + white + Black + Brown= turd. pretty nasty one at that. I guess it's better than past designs, but in the end they all look like ugly sweaters. No further comments other than despite the ugly get up. I like all teams Canadian.


My rating, 3 out of 10 United States Senators who know who the Ottawa Senators are.



#14 ~ ST. LOUIS BLUES

Tyler: We're into the part of the list where I can definitively say I like these jerseys. The Blues, while outfitting a terrible team year after year, at least outfit their players in some nice uniforms. Like with Atlanta the blue on light blue is nice, and the dark blue on the end of the sleeves is classy stuff. And the blue note logo -- that's pretty fucking sweet. (BONUS COMMENT: Look at these jerseys below. My god. What is that, for you who haven't seen it? That's the 3rd jersey that was to be worn in the 1995-96 season, but never saw icetime because coach Mike Keenan thought they were the worst thing that ever happened to athletic fashion. Maybe he didn't put it in those words. Anyway, I'm a little sad we didn't see it on a permanent basis; it's both the most horrible jersey and the greatest jersey that has ever been sewn. I mean, look at that beast. It's beyond description.


nhluniforms.com

Brent: Another Blue on Blue home jersey that I'm so fond of. Ever since I can remember i've been poppin' my..... ok now that that's done with: Ever since I can remember St. Louis has had decent uniforms and these are no exception. The main logo is class and the shoulder patch gets extra kudos. It's a pity I hate the Blues as a team and hope they dwell in the bottom on the division for all time.

My rating, 7 out of 10 minutes that Gretzky spent with St. Louis.



#13 ~ NEW YORK ISLANDERS

Tyler: In another case of me liking a team for really no reason, I've always been cool with the Islanders. Don't know why. Probably....yeah, it's the jerseys. No real reason, just what they wear. Orange + Blue = great. Draw strings on the neck = grand. Logo = strangely awesome even though you have to look at it for like 6 seconds before it really registers. What they wear now is the opposite of whatever the fuck this was.

Brent: The first thing I'm reminded of when I see the Islanders jersey is the Hardees sponsored car from Days of Thunder. They aren't bad though. I don't really mind the whole Florida Gators color scheme. The goofy logo is cool, and I don't mind watching them when I find them on tv.

My rating, 6 out of 10 people in New York who prefer the Islanders.


#12 ~ DALLAS STARS

Tyler: I love the elbow stripes on the Stars jerseys, everything is simple and neat. If their home unis were green instead of black it would probably be like top 8 or thereabouts. Know what I'm saying? You know? Just filling in space now. Moving on.

Brent: I'm going to agree with Tyler here. I don't like when teams switch from any other color to black. They need to go back to Northstars green... those old jerseys were the bees neez. Kind of like Buffalo and their fascination with one theme, Dallas goes with a star for football and hockey. Minus points for not making the most of it.

My rating, 5 out of 10 reason's I'm ok with Dallas having an NHL fanchise.


#11 ~ PHILADELPHIA FLYERS

Tyler: I don't mean to go completely off the rail here, but for the Flyers, I'm going to pretend that they aren't playing with black jerseys and instead are doing the right thing and playing with the old orange ones. So the basis for this portion of the list is make-believe. Stay with me. If they would just flip black for their old orange style then they would be sporting a top-notch jersey. I like the white on the shoulders, and the logo of course is tits.

Brent: When I think of the Flyers I think of pumpkins. Well at least in the good old days. What's with the black? Pumpkin orange all the way. The logo is alright, goes well with the colors. I don't know about top-notch as Tyler describes the orange shirts. But a much better choice than black. The first ever Wings game I got to see live was vs. the Flyers. So they will always hold a spot in my heart..... As the first team I ever watched the Red Wings beat live!

My rating, 5 out of 10 Philly fans who are good sports.


#10 ~ VANCOUVER CANUCKS

Tyler: The Canucks shouldn't make the top ten for the simple fact that they once made this. Dear God those were heinous. But the ones they have now are the shit. The logo is a tad weird but other than that, they sport a fine sweater: Simple, a couple of stripes, and they somehow made green and blue look okay together.

Brent: What relation do Canucks and Orcas have in common. I can't find a reason so if anyone knows let me know. I want the plain logo with nothing more than a hockey stick. Nice and simple, it's so generic I have to like it. The Seahawks colors are ok so I won't pick on them for that. But until they change that logo I won't be able to accept them into my clique.
My rating, 6 out of 10 Orcas still alive living in Vancouver.


#9 ~ MINNESOTA WILD

Tyler: Geniuses. The moment that they came up with the design for the Wild home jerseys was a moment of genius, plain and simple. They managed to create something that was ridiculous in color (green and red?) and still make it great: A really old school look, green on the upper sleeve with the circular logo on the chest and cream colored trim. The only other downfall is the little Wild character in the middle but I can overlook that. And -- draw strings (should be league-wide mandate.) Good thing we're doing the home unis because their road ones might be one of the 3 worst.

Brent: I completely agree with Tyler here. There really is nothing else I can add. Maybe something other than green and red would be nice. Maybe green and gray.

My rating, 8 out of 10 people in Minnesota who wern't pissed when they lost the Northstars.


#8 ~ EDMONTON OILERS

Tyler: This is some nice shit we're talking about. Simplicity is the key here; a couple of copper colored lines running down the front, a solid half-stripe on the sleeve, a logo and that's it. It looks positively baller if I say so myself. If I'm the Oilers I don't really see a reason to change anything about this jersey ever, aside from maybe a minor tweak here or there. And that's about the nicest I'll be to the Edmonton Oilers on this blog.


Brent: I really like these as well. This post may get boring now because I'm going to agree with a lot of things Tyler says. The Oilers jersey is classic cool. If Arthur Fonzarelli was Canadian he would wear a 2008 Oilers Jersey. The only pitfall is 3rd jerseys. Edmonton has a couple disgusting designs.


My rating, 9 out of 10 people world wide who thought
this was a good idea.



#7 ~ WASHINGTON CAPITALS

Tyler: The award for best jersey by a non-Original 6 team (because let's face it, those ones are the best), goes to the new Caps jerseys that debuted last year. Well, every team got new jerseys with the RBKs but Washington made the most improvement. The got rid of the awful gold/black/blue look and went back to their roots of red/white/blue. How is a team from the nation's capital going to stray away from those colors? Not only did they bring the old color scheme back, but that logo....that's the way to go. I'm just glad a team managed to combine a new spin on a previous look to create something good. Now Ovechkin won't be racking up 60 goal seasons while wearing this (seriously, what's with the lettering on the bottom.)

Brent: Thank god Washington got rid of the wretched blue and gold get up. And I relate the dramatic improvement to that of the Pistons and their change back to the classics rather than Frankenstine. Solid points all around with no small thanks to the awesome chest logo. This is in my top five no doubt. I was going to make an Ovechkin comment but Tyler beat me to it.

My rating, 9 out of 10 world capitals the average person I meet could name.



#6 ~ BOSTON BRUINS

Tyler: The "B" logo carries this one. Not much else needs to be said other than Pittsburgh should take note that you don't have to switch from yellow to gold to look cool this day in age. I severely doubt that Boston would ever abandon their colors but if they did I'd throw my arms up in despair. They've been sporting the shoulder coloring for a long time except for a period from the late 70's to early 90's, but I'd honestly prefer the no-shoulder color look from Ray Bourque's heyday. In any event it's still a wicked pisser of a jersey or however those assholes say it.

Brent: Boston carries a classy design that's high on the "keepn' it old school" side. The classic "B" should never be messed with and I really like the bear on the shoulder patch. The colors are true to the roots and I for one would not change a thing on the jersey. Only in Boston would you find this type of thing.

My rating, 8 out of 10 years since the Bruins have been relevant.


#5 ~ TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

Tyler: I really like the blue and white, and the wide double-stripes on the bottom and the sleeves. It's fairly nondescript so there isn't much else to comment on, which is actually a plus for this list.

Brent: Toronto's jersey's aren't fair to the rest of the league. I have not one bad thing to say. Hell, I can't even make fun of Toronto. Except maybe for their abysmal run of mediocrity. I wish they could play Detroit more.

My rating, 9 out of 10 times the Wings and the Leafs will get to play each other in the next decade. Thanks NHL scheduling.



#4 ~ NEW YORK RANGERS

Tyler: The only thing I don't really like is the way the red pants look with the blue jersey. It's a stupid preference thing I guess. But the diagonal letters and draw strings bring it back. Just a classic jersey that should never be changed under any circumstances. They can mess around with those Statue of Liberty 3rd jerseys all they want, but the regular blue and whites must stay.

Brent: Draw strings? word. Diagonal lettering? word. Coloring? eh.... like Tyler said, the red pants could stand a make over. But other than that the Rangers know how to make a hockey jersey.

My rating, 8 out of 10 better off retired senile hockey players the Rangers will give contracts to this season.


#3 ~ CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS

Tyler: One of the finest logos in all of sports. They manage to make black and red look good together when other teams like Carolina can't pull it off. And the shoulder patch is also first class stuff. Again they get bonus points for having basically the same design for such a long time....really at this point saying any jersey is better than this is just splitting hairs. But I can't possibly put them any higher than this because they currently employ Robert Lang.

Brent: A+ all around... how in the hell you can put red and black together and make it look alright on a jersey is beyond me, but apparently they know their shit in Chi Town. Bonus points for this patch. And more bonus points for the chest logo. Tyler and I were talking the other day and thought it would be fun to go back in time to the early 90's and go around telling Blackhawks fan that Chelios will start playing for the Red Wings in 98'. And then sit and watch them all laugh at us while they ask if we have flying cars in 2008.

My rating, 9 out of 10 people who could even begin to imagine the Chelios switch back then.



#2 ~ MONTREAL CANADIENS

Tyler: The logo is an A+, elbow stripes are always a good idea, and the wrap-around blue stripe the goes under the logo and the numbers is fantastic. Random bonus points for the fact that they've had pretty much the same red jersey since like the Great Depression. I almost convinced myself to put it at #1 until I remembered that I'm a huge homer and poisoned by bias.

Brent: Ditto, world class jerseys. As with Tyler I would easily give Montreal a perfect 10 except for the fact that they don't play in Detroit. Three cheers for complete bias!


My rating, 9 out of 10 people in Quebec who would like to see the Expos come back.



#1 ~ DETROIT RED WINGS

Tyler: Like we're picking a different #1. Winged wheel logo and basically the same jersey for 300 years. And did you hear that we got Hossa?

Brent: There is no other option here than for a perfect score. Besides I believe they've earned it.


My rating, 10 out of 10 people who aren't family that care to read this blog. (Be sure to leave a comment and tell us how much we suck.)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

suck.

Anonymous said...

You 'mos should do a blog about whose hair is prettiest.

Triple Deke Staff said...

Well we had a rough draft going of "players we'd like to have gay sex with" but perhaps the prettiest hair would be a safer route. Thanks.

dave said...

Haha just found your blog for the second time in like a year. This shit's great. LETS GO RED WINGS!!!

Oh, and by the way, the first two Mighty Ducks movies are a couple of the greatest films ever created by humans.

Anonymous said...

hahaha hossa. how'd that work out for you?

Brent said...

whooooa.. time warp?

Anonymous said...

MONTREAL FOREVER!

Red wings jerseys could be better if they brought back the old whites (white sleeves, red stripe.)

Canadiens jersey better only if they match the home and road.

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