August 30, 2008


I've been slow with Tigers stuff due to a couple things: School, the Blue Screen of Death, and the contempt I hold for the month of August. I wanted to make some ridiculous post where I go game-by-game through the Michigan State football schedule and try to convince myself that we can start 7-0, but I don't have time for such silliness right now.

Tigers 6-3 Royals
  • Zach Miner was good again.

August 26, 2008

Datsyuk's KHL thoughts

When I first saw Dats' name mentioned in the same sentence as the shiny new Kontinental Hockey League, I felt a nervous twinge. But it's really nothing.

"I would rather eat my own shit than play in the KHL."

Given the precedent of Brendan Shanahan, I'm not going to submit something as certain as "he'll retire as a Wing." But if he ever leaves Detroit it would have to be under Shanahan-like circumstances where he doesn't fit the system but still wants to keep playing somewhere else. Even as he ages, though, I can't imagine a scenario in which his skills deteriorate to the point where he "doesn't fit."


October 9th. Toronto Maple Leafs. For God's sake let's defend this thing already

August 22, 2008

NHL Uniform Rankings, part II

For Part I click here. And for a picture of Brent naked click here.


Tyler: One of the best logos in the game. Wicked number font. Running out of shit to say about these teams....Okay, okay, focus. Ottawa used to have some seriously horrible jerseys. They've rebounded and put out a combo of red/black white without zany stripes or patterns or shoulder garbage. Gotta like that red.

Brent: I don't know what Tyler sees in these jerseys that warrant such a high ranking. They're boring, bland, all around generic. Red + white + Black + Brown= turd. pretty nasty one at that. I guess it's better than past designs, but in the end they all look like ugly sweaters. No further comments other than despite the ugly get up. I like all teams Canadian.

My rating, 3 out of 10 United States Senators who know who the Ottawa Senators are.


Tyler: We're into the part of the list where I can definitively say I like these jerseys. The Blues, while outfitting a terrible team year after year, at least outfit their players in some nice uniforms. Like with Atlanta the blue on light blue is nice, and the dark blue on the end of the sleeves is classy stuff. And the blue note logo -- that's pretty fucking sweet. (BONUS COMMENT: Look at these jerseys below. My god. What is that, for you who haven't seen it? That's the 3rd jersey that was to be worn in the 1995-96 season, but never saw icetime because coach Mike Keenan thought they were the worst thing that ever happened to athletic fashion. Maybe he didn't put it in those words. Anyway, I'm a little sad we didn't see it on a permanent basis; it's both the most horrible jersey and the greatest jersey that has ever been sewn. I mean, look at that beast. It's beyond description.

Brent: Another Blue on Blue home jersey that I'm so fond of. Ever since I can remember i've been poppin' my..... ok now that that's done with: Ever since I can remember St. Louis has had decent uniforms and these are no exception. The main logo is class and the shoulder patch gets extra kudos. It's a pity I hate the Blues as a team and hope they dwell in the bottom on the division for all time.

My rating, 7 out of 10 minutes that Gretzky spent with St. Louis.


Tyler: In another case of me liking a team for really no reason, I've always been cool with the Islanders. Don't know why. Probably....yeah, it's the jerseys. No real reason, just what they wear. Orange + Blue = great. Draw strings on the neck = grand. Logo = strangely awesome even though you have to look at it for like 6 seconds before it really registers. What they wear now is the opposite of whatever the fuck this was.

Brent: The first thing I'm reminded of when I see the Islanders jersey is the Hardees sponsored car from Days of Thunder. They aren't bad though. I don't really mind the whole Florida Gators color scheme. The goofy logo is cool, and I don't mind watching them when I find them on tv.

My rating, 6 out of 10 people in New York who prefer the Islanders.


Tyler: I love the elbow stripes on the Stars jerseys, everything is simple and neat. If their home unis were green instead of black it would probably be like top 8 or thereabouts. Know what I'm saying? You know? Just filling in space now. Moving on.

Brent: I'm going to agree with Tyler here. I don't like when teams switch from any other color to black. They need to go back to Northstars green... those old jerseys were the bees neez. Kind of like Buffalo and their fascination with one theme, Dallas goes with a star for football and hockey. Minus points for not making the most of it.

My rating, 5 out of 10 reason's I'm ok with Dallas having an NHL fanchise.


Tyler: I don't mean to go completely off the rail here, but for the Flyers, I'm going to pretend that they aren't playing with black jerseys and instead are doing the right thing and playing with the old orange ones. So the basis for this portion of the list is make-believe. Stay with me. If they would just flip black for their old orange style then they would be sporting a top-notch jersey. I like the white on the shoulders, and the logo of course is tits.

Brent: When I think of the Flyers I think of pumpkins. Well at least in the good old days. What's with the black? Pumpkin orange all the way. The logo is alright, goes well with the colors. I don't know about top-notch as Tyler describes the orange shirts. But a much better choice than black. The first ever Wings game I got to see live was vs. the Flyers. So they will always hold a spot in my heart..... As the first team I ever watched the Red Wings beat live!

My rating, 5 out of 10 Philly fans who are good sports.


Tyler: The Canucks shouldn't make the top ten for the simple fact that they once made this. Dear God those were heinous. But the ones they have now are the shit. The logo is a tad weird but other than that, they sport a fine sweater: Simple, a couple of stripes, and they somehow made green and blue look okay together.

Brent: What relation do Canucks and Orcas have in common. I can't find a reason so if anyone knows let me know. I want the plain logo with nothing more than a hockey stick. Nice and simple, it's so generic I have to like it. The Seahawks colors are ok so I won't pick on them for that. But until they change that logo I won't be able to accept them into my clique.
My rating, 6 out of 10 Orcas still alive living in Vancouver.


Tyler: Geniuses. The moment that they came up with the design for the Wild home jerseys was a moment of genius, plain and simple. They managed to create something that was ridiculous in color (green and red?) and still make it great: A really old school look, green on the upper sleeve with the circular logo on the chest and cream colored trim. The only other downfall is the little Wild character in the middle but I can overlook that. And -- draw strings (should be league-wide mandate.) Good thing we're doing the home unis because their road ones might be one of the 3 worst.

Brent: I completely agree with Tyler here. There really is nothing else I can add. Maybe something other than green and red would be nice. Maybe green and gray.

My rating, 8 out of 10 people in Minnesota who wern't pissed when they lost the Northstars.


Tyler: This is some nice shit we're talking about. Simplicity is the key here; a couple of copper colored lines running down the front, a solid half-stripe on the sleeve, a logo and that's it. It looks positively baller if I say so myself. If I'm the Oilers I don't really see a reason to change anything about this jersey ever, aside from maybe a minor tweak here or there. And that's about the nicest I'll be to the Edmonton Oilers on this blog.

Brent: I really like these as well. This post may get boring now because I'm going to agree with a lot of things Tyler says. The Oilers jersey is classic cool. If Arthur Fonzarelli was Canadian he would wear a 2008 Oilers Jersey. The only pitfall is 3rd jerseys. Edmonton has a couple disgusting designs.

My rating, 9 out of 10 people world wide who thought
this was a good idea.


Tyler: The award for best jersey by a non-Original 6 team (because let's face it, those ones are the best), goes to the new Caps jerseys that debuted last year. Well, every team got new jerseys with the RBKs but Washington made the most improvement. The got rid of the awful gold/black/blue look and went back to their roots of red/white/blue. How is a team from the nation's capital going to stray away from those colors? Not only did they bring the old color scheme back, but that logo....that's the way to go. I'm just glad a team managed to combine a new spin on a previous look to create something good. Now Ovechkin won't be racking up 60 goal seasons while wearing this (seriously, what's with the lettering on the bottom.)

Brent: Thank god Washington got rid of the wretched blue and gold get up. And I relate the dramatic improvement to that of the Pistons and their change back to the classics rather than Frankenstine. Solid points all around with no small thanks to the awesome chest logo. This is in my top five no doubt. I was going to make an Ovechkin comment but Tyler beat me to it.

My rating, 9 out of 10 world capitals the average person I meet could name.


Tyler: The "B" logo carries this one. Not much else needs to be said other than Pittsburgh should take note that you don't have to switch from yellow to gold to look cool this day in age. I severely doubt that Boston would ever abandon their colors but if they did I'd throw my arms up in despair. They've been sporting the shoulder coloring for a long time except for a period from the late 70's to early 90's, but I'd honestly prefer the no-shoulder color look from Ray Bourque's heyday. In any event it's still a wicked pisser of a jersey or however those assholes say it.

Brent: Boston carries a classy design that's high on the "keepn' it old school" side. The classic "B" should never be messed with and I really like the bear on the shoulder patch. The colors are true to the roots and I for one would not change a thing on the jersey. Only in Boston would you find this type of thing.

My rating, 8 out of 10 years since the Bruins have been relevant.


Tyler: I really like the blue and white, and the wide double-stripes on the bottom and the sleeves. It's fairly nondescript so there isn't much else to comment on, which is actually a plus for this list.

Brent: Toronto's jersey's aren't fair to the rest of the league. I have not one bad thing to say. Hell, I can't even make fun of Toronto. Except maybe for their abysmal run of mediocrity. I wish they could play Detroit more.

My rating, 9 out of 10 times the Wings and the Leafs will get to play each other in the next decade. Thanks NHL scheduling.


Tyler: The only thing I don't really like is the way the red pants look with the blue jersey. It's a stupid preference thing I guess. But the diagonal letters and draw strings bring it back. Just a classic jersey that should never be changed under any circumstances. They can mess around with those Statue of Liberty 3rd jerseys all they want, but the regular blue and whites must stay.

Brent: Draw strings? word. Diagonal lettering? word. Coloring? eh.... like Tyler said, the red pants could stand a make over. But other than that the Rangers know how to make a hockey jersey.

My rating, 8 out of 10 better off retired senile hockey players the Rangers will give contracts to this season.


Tyler: One of the finest logos in all of sports. They manage to make black and red look good together when other teams like Carolina can't pull it off. And the shoulder patch is also first class stuff. Again they get bonus points for having basically the same design for such a long time....really at this point saying any jersey is better than this is just splitting hairs. But I can't possibly put them any higher than this because they currently employ Robert Lang.

Brent: A+ all around... how in the hell you can put red and black together and make it look alright on a jersey is beyond me, but apparently they know their shit in Chi Town. Bonus points for this patch. And more bonus points for the chest logo. Tyler and I were talking the other day and thought it would be fun to go back in time to the early 90's and go around telling Blackhawks fan that Chelios will start playing for the Red Wings in 98'. And then sit and watch them all laugh at us while they ask if we have flying cars in 2008.

My rating, 9 out of 10 people who could even begin to imagine the Chelios switch back then.


Tyler: The logo is an A+, elbow stripes are always a good idea, and the wrap-around blue stripe the goes under the logo and the numbers is fantastic. Random bonus points for the fact that they've had pretty much the same red jersey since like the Great Depression. I almost convinced myself to put it at #1 until I remembered that I'm a huge homer and poisoned by bias.

Brent: Ditto, world class jerseys. As with Tyler I would easily give Montreal a perfect 10 except for the fact that they don't play in Detroit. Three cheers for complete bias!

My rating, 9 out of 10 people in Quebec who would like to see the Expos come back.


Tyler: Like we're picking a different #1. Winged wheel logo and basically the same jersey for 300 years. And did you hear that we got Hossa?

Brent: There is no other option here than for a perfect score. Besides I believe they've earned it.

My rating, 10 out of 10 people who aren't family that care to read this blog. (Be sure to leave a comment and tell us how much we suck.)

NHL Uniform Rankings, part I

Since it's the middle of August and we need a new excuse to talk about hockey, The Triple Deke has decided to order the unis of all 30 teams from worst to the best. Why? Because these are the shitty ideas (Brent: Tyler says shitty, I say totally awesome) that form when it's 5:00 AM and you've been playing NHL 94 for the past 12 hours. I (Tyler) will be commenting first on the team at hand, which will then be followed by the musings of Brent who will also supply a 1 to 10 rating system for each uniform. We'll be covering the home ones only.

Before we begin, here's the criteria that was used to rank the teams:
  • Color coordination. As a heterosexual male it's hard for me to say things like "color coordination" without feeling a tad bit ashamed of myself. But it counts. Some colors just look stupid together, or just plain stupid enough on their own. (Brent: No teal)
  • Logo. Kind of a big deal. Some teams know what they're doing....others have yet to realize that doing acid while watching Power Rangers to find artistic inspiration is a terrible idea (I can only assume that that's the scenario that led to the creation of this. You kinda have to agree with me here.)
  • Simplicity. Out of all the criteria outlined, this one includes the greatest amount of personal preference. We can pretty much all agree that certain jerseys are just plain hideous, but keeping it simple is key to both authors of the Deke. When you put too much bullshit on a jersey, you end up with sweater vomit.
  • Bonus points for a well-done shoulder patch/alternate logo. (Brent: Or minus points in the case of Edmonton's 4th jersey for the 06-07 season)


Tyler: We've barely begun with this epic journey and I've already ripped on them once. But they make it so easy. The scrappy Preds have only been around for a decade but they've already pumped out some of the most visually unappealing shit that I've seen in professional sports. First, gray + blue + yellow = no. Secondly, the logo: It ruins everything. Very "in your face", almost a desperate attempt to suggest "LOOK AT OUR JERSEYS!" It looks like something that the nerdy quiet kid would draw on his trapper keeper in 3rd grade, which is a telling sign that you shouldn't print it on sweaters and try to sell it to the public. The Toronto Raptors had the whole "extinct mascots" thing covered in the 90's until Nashville was awarded a hockey team and blew them right out of the water; now they're undisputed king of that category.

Brent: Not only do they have a bad jersey, but they're in the same division as the Wings. So we get to see the damn things more often than the surgeon general recommends. In fact, in the surgeon general's last press release he said it was much more safe to pick up smoking than it is to have season tickets in Nashville. I mean come on Nashville, it's already hard enough for anyone to take a hockey team from Nashville serious without showing them the picture of a saber cat fossil as your logo. While Tyler ranks them dead last in his rankings... I personally can't call them the worst. The color scheme and the design are fine and with a new logo I probably wouldn't be so harsh.

**My rating, 4 out of 10 extinct animals.


Tyler: Not just because of the rivalry. Maroonish and blue: not the best of combinations there. The blue running up the armpits coupled with the blue covering the shoulders is unflattering to say the least. The logo is below average; I would prefer if they wore those old school-looking ones from a couple years ago instead to rid themselves of it. Just an all around ugly combo of ugly and more ugly. Plus, Ian Laperiere wears it on a regular basis so I can't possibly have it any higher than second-to-last.

Brent: The Avs are lucky that I'm putting all bias aside and judging only by jersey design. On this playing field they're still in the bottom 10 for me. The logo is fine, but the colors don't gel together well. Actually, they don't work together at all. Not quite to the "I want to wash my eyes out with amonia!"point but close. Plus the little patch they wear on their shoulder with the bare foot is crap. I had to look up why they even had the patch. Turns out the foot represents Colorado's original mascot when they first moved to Denver "Howler" the abominable snowman. Weak sauce....... Make a cool little Rocky Mountain patch or something. Fuck feet, word.

**My rating, 3 out of 10 barefoot idiots lost in the Rockies.


Tyler: I've long disliked the Bolts for the sole reasoning that I dislike their uniforms. Petty, but true. The logo is hard on the eyes, but with that nickname it's not like they can do a whole lot with it. In addition to that, I am not a fan of black uniforms in most cases, and this black uniform is the worst in the league. It looks like it belongs in the AHL. If the jersey itself isn't bad enough, the fucking pants top it off: A lightening bolt going down the side. Cheesy.

Brent: This is by far the most hideous uni in the NHL currently. The logo looks like crap and there's no need for the number on the front of the jersey. There's a whole back for that. And then we get to the colors. Black with blue and white in the most wretched combination possible. What in the hell are they thinking? Something isn't right if you can precisely draw the jersey with only a black and a blue pen.

**My rating, 1 out of 10 sports teams that Florida shouldn't have.


Tyler: I hate the entire Ducks organization, which is kind of ironic considering their origins and the name of our blog. But these aren't the cutesy Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. These are the goon-riddled dick Ducks of the 2000's. And when the 90's fad of purple and teal wore off and started to look outdated, their answer was the same as like half of all present day professional sports teams: go black. Black is the replacement for good ideas and innovative thinking, or perhaps just boredom. Throw in some gold and orange trim (orange???) and you have a total shit fest. Oh, and the font on the front of the jersey is rifuckulous. It's a word, trust me.

Brent: Ahhhh the ducks. You'd think that because of this blogs ties to the Mighty Ducks movie series we'd be more attached. In all honesty, they have terrible jerseys. Even the style that the Mighty Ducks broke out for the 3rd period vs. Iceland were ugly as seen here in this lovely team photo. I say they take the origional style Bombay got for that rag tag bunch of kids would look much better. At the very least I might not think bad things every time I hear the city's name. I'm sure Anaheim is a lovely place and all but I will never think nice thoughts as long as they have a hockey team. Black, white, gold, puke.... the four main components of the jersey. They didn't even put a duck on the logo! The whole Disney movie novelty wore off and instead of a face lift they chose a face fuck. Quack! Quack! Mr. Ducksworth....

**My rating, 3 out of 10 movies from Disney I actually like.


Tyler: This one is a little hard to completely justify. I mainly was, and still am for whatever reason, mad that they aren't the Hartford Whalers anymore. Not like I was a huge Whale fan or anything -- but the move just didn't seem right. So they changed from blue and green to mostly red and black, changed nicknames to something that kills people (I'm not taking a moralistic stand or anything, just pointing out something that I think is odd), and haven't really done anything since to alter it. It's nothing real outlandish, but the weird squares that border around the jersey on the bottom are stupid.

Brent: Oh yes, another decent team that nobody cares about. Despite they're progress the last few seasons (Stanley Cup anyone?) they've managed to leave the rest of the world apathetic. I have no real gripes about their jersey, kind of boring. Not quite as classy as some of the other teams, but no visual vomit this time. The Canes bore me so on to the next team.

**My rating, 5 out of 10 hurricanes in history that actually hit the Carolinas.


Tyler: Some on-the-fly criteria input here as I make this shit up while I go: I didn't love the original Coyote jerseys from the late 90's, but switching from green/black/red/orange/whatever the fuck else they drew at random from a Crayola box to just red was a bad move. It's kind of a weird red, too. I like how simple and classic it looks by design, but they get knocked some points for abandoning the green they used to have. They kind of made like their in-town chums the Diamond backs and said "to hell with it" with their old unis and just went all red. The biggest gripe I have is the logo, which really turns a half-decent jersey into a failure. Again, I don't know how much you can really do with a coyote but I still say they can do better than what they have. I honestly believe that the hockey playing coyote looked better than the current logo.

Brent: A hockey team in Arizona named the Coyotes? I don't think there is anyway you can justify this yet here we are in 2008 and they're still there. No complaints on colors, stupid logo though. I don't really think there's much you can do with a hockey team in Phoenix named the Coyotes. So I can't find the jersey designer at fault.

**My Rating, 4 out of 10 fans at their home games.


Tyler: Once again I'm trying not to let my bad feelings for the team itself interfere with my uni judgment, but the Sharks still managed to slip to #24. I don't hate the jersey; I actually like the elbow stripes and the stripe across the bottom, and I like the addition of gold trim. So I give them credit for moving away from that metallic, silver + black look to go with the teal....but it's still a teal jersey. Teal is pretty gross.

Brent: Right off the bat they have three things going against them.
1. They're stuck in the 90's fad of teal green as a main jersey color. 2. They're sharks on ice.... nuf' said. 3. San Jose has a hockey team in the first place. I can't like any team with shit green for their main colors. The logo is clever enough, I like to think a hockey player got too close to the "thin ice" sign and fell in promptly followed by a shark attack. There should be a few red streaks to complete the details but that's just me. I bet a total re-think of the jersey using maybe a Dallas green would make things much better.

**My rating, 3 out of 10 hockey players involved in shark attacks


Tyler: I have no idea what's going on here. Kind of a weird buffalo logo, some gray squiggly shoulder stripes, and yellow sleeves that resemble the color of piss when you're dehydrated. I like the effort to move back to the blue and yellow look (ANYTHING would be better than the black/gray/red they used to wear), but it's still a little awkward.

Brent: Tyler isn't a huge fan of the look. I on the other hand think this is one of the few modern era jersey designs I like. The trim looks nice, and the logo fits well with the style. It must be a Buffalo, NY thing to put a buffalo on everything. Extra points for the cool patch on the shoulder of a B with a sword going through it. Plus I'm a sucker for dark blue.

**My rating, 6 out of 10 buffalo I killed while playing Oregon Trail


Tyler: There's a difference between looking classic in simplicity and looking dreadfully boring. The Devils don't wow you with anything outrageous (had the Devils moved to New Jersey in 90's -- when jerseys were at their low point -- they'd undoubtedly have a jersey depicting Lucifer blowing fire while spearing a calf with a trident or something). But just looks so cliche. The nickname, like with other teams, ties you into a certain color scheme and with New Jersey, it looks more comical than fitting to me. I think they'd be better off changing their name to the Landfills and wearing brown and a darker brown.

Brent: I can't say a whole lot about New Jersey. I used to hate their jerseys in the Christmas color era but now they're pretty much generic. They have the perfect logo on front for their team name and there's not really any other colors to pick other than red for the devils (Ahem, take note Duke). I've never been a big fan of black on red but what can I do... It's New Jersey for Christs sake. Speaking of which why doesn't everybody just make things easier and cut NJ in half.... the north can be New New York, and the southern half can be the same old Jersey we all know and don't care about.

**My rating, 5 out of 10 things I care about involving the whole state of New Jersey.


Tyler: I think they could do a lot better. I like the flaming "C", I mean, that's pretty badass. But there's too much going on with the stripes and random lines and such. There's potential here if they would minimalize things, but it's hard to make yellow and red go together. Okay now I'm starting to sound pretty gay.

Brent: Props to teams in Canada, gotta love any team with actual fans.... I consider the flames as Detroit's main Canadian rival. It would be Toronto execpt the NHL knows how to make illogical schedules. How can two teams with such history play each other once or twice a decade? Back to the jersey. Whenever I watch the Flames play I have to wonder just who exactly is the Calgary captain? They all have C's on their jerseys and it's all so confusing. All douchebagary aside they have ok uni's. The C goes well on the jersey and I would be pissed if a team named the flames was any color other than red or orange. I don't like the home's but the away uni is acceptable. I usually give props on the shoulder patches but the stupid flaming bird/dragon sucks, just leave the flags.

**My rating, 5 out of 10 people south of Ohio that can name what province Calgary is in.


Tyler: Not a bad's probably going to be boring talking about these 'tweener jerseys that don't suck but aren't great. Uhhh, the logo is alright, I guess. I like the stripes that go down the shoulders and you aren't bombarded with a whole bunch of nonsense. For the record though I should point out that I absolutely loathed being subjected to the BJ's blue jerseys when they first started. Don't know if that's at all relevant, but then again I'm writing a jersey ranking blog instead of going to sleep so I've lost any sense of relevance I once had.

Brent: After research I found out what the hell a blue jacket was and after the fact, I still think it was a poor choice for a hockey team. Poor colors (I hate the same old same old red, white, and blue unless it's done well). Poor design (It looks like management pooled their children's drawings together and decided blue on top white on bottom was a safe bet). And also a poor logo. A swooping Ohio flag?..... Really? Good thing nobody in Ohio cares about anything other than the Buckeyes.

My Rating, 3 out of 10 more reasons why I hate Ohio.


Tyler: (Florida's ownership discussing possible team nicknames, 1992) --

"We need a scary mascot."

Brent: Can somebody tell me why exactly Miami has a hockey team? Even when the NHL was all expansion happy who really thought Florida was a prime candidate for a team? "Mr. Bettman! Mr. Bettman! I have a brilliant idea! Lets place another team where there's no snow!" Of course Bettman's dumb ass thought it was nothing short of brilliant and "made it so" if you will. If it's not already embarrassing enough if you call yourself a Panthers fan, you also have to deal with the ugly ass jerseys. No real comment other than I feel bad for any player who ends up there. 10 bucks says your first words when finding out your headed to play for the Panthers is "Oh fuck, I was afraid of this."

**My rating, 3 out of 10 people who remember that Florida actually reached the Stanley Cup finals once.


Tyler: The crown is a dope logo, I can't lie. And, I've already gone on record as being not-so-cool with the black jerseys, but with the Kings I think it's alright. I don't know how to justify that one. And, on top of that, they're like the only team in any sport where I think they pull off the purple except for the Lakers. I'm probably in the minority thinking that, but to me, it beats the Los Angeles Raiders rip off from the late 80's. I'm totally making this up, but I bet that Gretzky demanded they change from their old yellow and purple to black and silver before The Trade was completely finalized. Come on, you know that priss didn't want to wear yellow and purple.

Brent: I used to like the kings jerseys. Gray and black looks sleek with the right logo. But the purple and black look they lifted from the Sacramento Kings is tacky. In case you forgot which city they are from there's giant white letters spelling Los Angeles on the lower front. I can only imagine this is useful for Kings fans that fall asleep and wake up thinking they wound up in Canada or something. "**Honk** Huh, What the hell!? Where am I! Why is there ice here? Oh thank god they have Los Angeles on the jerseys. I was worried for a moment there." All in all they still look better than most of the previous teams mentioned so I will score them as such.

**My rating, 5 out of 10 former L.A. players Kings fans can list other than Gretzky.


Tyler: I don't really know what the fuck a "thrasher" is. But I'll be damned, an expansion team actually made a halfway decent jersey. I'm weary of the asymmetrical-ness and the bold "ATLANTA" streaming down one arm, but the blue-on-light blue is nice, and the yellow is a nice compliment. These are waaaay better than some of the other monstrosities that they've come up with. And somebody tell me what a fucking thrasher is because I don't feel like looking it up.

Brent: For being in a non hockey city that I love to make fun of they sure have great uniforms. I'm not even kidding either. I'm a huge fan of light blue on dark and the Atlanta spelled down the left sleeve is classy. I still don't know what the hell a Thrasher is besides someone who does tricks on a skateboard but apparently it's a tornado shaped bird holding a hockey stick. I like Atlanta's attempts and I hope they become a good hockey team with a worthy fan base so I can eat all the words I used making fun of them.

**My rating, 7 out of 10 youth hockey players in Georgia.


Tyler: Growing up I always really liked the Penguin jerseys. Even though I had my fair share of Wings jerseys, I always sort of thought about asking for like a Lemieux jersey for Christmas or something. I had a friend named Cameron in elementary school who had a white #66 sweater and I'm pretty sure he got laid at the age of like 9 because of it. Dude got all the girls, it was insane. So the Penguins had that going for them, I guess. Then they went the St. Louis Rams route and traded in yellow for gold and fucked everything up. Ugghh. Their current threads aren't bad, and I like the logo, but that's all I can really say about them. I miss the days of Penguin jerseys' past when Ulf Samuelsson ruled the world.

Brent: Here's another team jersey I don't want to tear my eyeballs out
after watching. They have a mascot that fits a hockey team and it translates well in the logo they've chosen. The colors are perfect... "we're the penguins, so why not make our colors the same as a penguin?" I can buy that logic. There's no shitty trim to clog up the rest of the jersey and they have no silly shoulder patch. All in all a classy design.

**My rating, 7 out of 10 Penguins fans that will say I only gave them a 7 and not a 10 because I'm from Michigan.

(Part Deux to come later...)

August 19, 2008

Curtis comes up huge

Tigers 8-7 Rangers

I've been a little light on the Tigers posts over the last week so I'll try to get back into the swing of things here.

This one was wild. The Tigers looked like they were headed for another shutout; then they made things exciting with 8 unanswered (and unexpected) runs; then Kyle Farnsworth happened; then Fernando Rodney put out the fire and ended it before the Tigers could pick up another impossibly bad loss.

  • Sheff was 3 for 5 with a 2-run homer that awoke the Tigers in the 7th. Up to that point the offense was nonexistent; it sparked a 4-run inning that gave the Tigers the lead.
  • That was enough to give Kenny Rogers credit for the win. He went six innings, allowed 8 hits and 4 walks but struck out 7 and managed to only give up 3 runs.
  • Curtis had 2 triples, the second of which came with 2 out and the bases loaded. Very anti-2008 Tigers of him.
  • Brandon Inge was 2 for 2 with a walk and an RBI. He had a good battle with Fransisco -- he was only getting fastballs and couldn't do anything with them. Finally Fransisco throws him something offspeed and he pulls it between 3rd and short for a big RBI. Very anti-Brandon Inge of him.
  • I really expected the Tigers to find a way to lose this one. If you don't agree with that sentiment than you probably haven't been watching this team closely enough. This was a prime example of a classic Tigers fuck up and Rodney had to ruin what would've been a fuck-up masterpiece by closing it out in the 9th. What an asshole.

August 18, 2008

This shit is important

NHL 09 hits stores September 9.

08 was a huge success last year. It almost got me kicked out of college.

The biggest topic that surrounds any sports game release is, of course, the player ratings. Why let logic, reason, or your own judgment cloud your opinion of who's better than whom when you can have a video game do it for you? That's what I used to believe, anyway.


Defensive Awareness:

Pavel Datsyuk (Selke Award Winner) -- 85

Evgeni Malkin -- 89
Sydney Crosby -- 92


August 12, 2008

Here's some news: Tigers blow another one

Tigers 4-6 Blue Jays

There are 10 thousand ways I thought about starting this post with some combination of the words "not surprising" and whatever else I would add to that. Then I just decided it would get my point across better if I described myself trying to come up with such a sentence. It's pointless to say that this game was "so frustrating" or "maddening". It really wasn't. All we saw tonight was yet another disappointing loss that wasn't anything out of the ordinary for this team.
  • I'm sure Zach Miner was thrilled to watch his lead fade away so quickly. 6 innings, 5 hits, 1 run, 5 K's.
  • The usually reliable Bobby Seay for 2 hits, 2 runs in 0.2 IP.
  • Joel 5 batters. 2 hits. 3 walks. 0 outs.
  • The top of the 9th was annoying to watch. Renteria and Joyce collided on a pop up that resulted in a dropped ball and a double. After an intentional walk runners were then on 1st and 2nd. Alex Rios got a horrible jump while trying to steal 3rd -- a jump so bad that Raburn took his sweet ass time laying the tag down because Rios was dead by 10 feet -- and then he slid underneath the tag. Then a wild pitch let the runner on 1st get to 2nd, taking away the double play...which was then followed by another wild pitch: Inge made a fantastic sliding pick up and threw a strike to Dolsi covering home, Rios was again out by a mile, and Dolsi fucking pulls a Raburn and waits for Rios at the plate like a proud parent watching their kid's first steps. The only difference here was that Rios was called out when he was actually safe (if he would've slid he would've been called safe). Then they tacked on another run.
  • Magglio had a solo HR and Sheff had two of them. Sheff actually had a decent game; he's now 2 for 12,596 this year with connecting on high fast balls.

What exactly is wrong with Justin Verlander?

Tigers 2-7 Blue Jays

I'm nowhere near smart enough to put together a huge analysis to try and figure out why JV has been so un-ace-like this season, but I still kind of know how to read. After looking at his numbers, the worries we already had about his performance seem alarming when staring at the evidence.

Early in the season the big scare was how his velocity was only reaching the low 90's. That improved as he got some starts out of the way but now there are more troubling trends. His last four starts have been awful: 24 runs given up in his last 21.2 IP, 9 walks, and a .376 OBP-against.

For whatever reason he's having a much tougher time with his control when he faces lefties than compared to '06 and '07. Below are his BB/per 9 innings splits from Fangraphs.

Against LHB, you can see his walk rate is leaving Earth's atmosphere. Last year it was under 4/per, this year it's soared to 5.45/9 IP. The batting average-against is about the same for lefties as it is righties, but he's chucking a lot more pitches to the former. His lefty WHIP is almost 50% higher than against right-handers, too.

Overall he's picked up the strikeout-rate against everybody as the year has gone along, but it's still only around the league average for 2008. It's the unpredictable control that seems to be getting him though. From game-to-game he looks like he can be in a groove, like a couple starts ago against the Indians for instance, and then make one or two mistakes and completely lose it.

Another situation that he is struggling with is pitching with runners on base. Look at this shit.

The blue line is league average. The green is JV. At what point to we turn to Chuck Hernandez for blame? I'm not sure, mainly because I'm never really sure about anything. Armando Galarraga is the only starter who has seen significant time with a LOB % above league average. (Not to make a point, but just as a fun fact, former Tiger Tim Byrdak actually leads the N.L. in LOB % right now.)

JV's splits with men on base are saddening. The only category in which he isn't bothered is when runners are on 1st and 2nd. Other than that, his numbers don't look good: He's giving up a .839 OPS with men on as opposed to .575 with the bases empty. Comparing that to somebody who's doing good this year, Cliff Lee is actually doing better with runners on (.604 OPS) than no runners at all (.619). JV really doesn't seem to like having somebody at 3rd, either: with 2 out, he has a .895 OPS against -- and 1.052 against with less than 2 out. This is supposed to be our staff ace, the guy you are least worried about when facing pressure situations. Perhaps he's tightening up when he really needs an out, because he seems like he's lost some of his mental edge. And hitters know they can crack him if he gives them an inch (notably the White Sox).

I don't know how significant any of this is and I'm probably overlooking a number of things. Maybe it's just a long, long fluky stretch. But one thing that sticks with me is that his struggles suck as much for the fact that he seems like a good guy than just because he's a Tiger. He's the anti-Sheffield. Sure, we don't really know these people and he could be a total tool bag, but he's definitely somebody that makes the list of "Guys My Girlfriend Can Cheat on Me With". For the record, that list looks something like:

1. Magglio Ordonez
2. Justin Verlander
3. Christian Bale while he's wearing the Bat-suit and doing this
4. her friend Roland since he's cool
5. Alex Trebek

August 10, 2008

2 out of 3

Tigers 6-1 Athletics

Take note of this win for Nate Robertson because outings like this have come few and far between for the lefty. The A's sport a lineup that doesn't scare anybody so perhaps they were just what Nate needed to get back on track.

Fernando closed things out with 1.1 innings of work to pick up his 3rd save of the season.
  • The A's issued a whopping 10 walks today, 7 coming from their starter Greg Smith.
  • Ryan Raburn was 1 for 3 with 2 walks. In the 8th he hit an RBI double that turned into an error and allowed him to score. This put the game out of reach at 6-1.
  • Miguel had a double and 2 walks. He's hitting the shit out of the ball right now (.652 SLG since the All Star break).
  • Curtis was 1 for 4 with a homerun. His curse against southpaws is a thing of the past.
  • Nate's day: 7.2 IP, 5 hits, 1 run and 5 K's, and he was in total control from the get-go.


Tayshaun Prince had 0 points and 3 rebounds in 7 minutes of action as the USA beat up on China, 101-70. Yao had 13 and 10 for China as he played through the pain of his troubled left foot. At the start things looked interesting as the Chinese hit a number of open 3's while the Americans kept chucking bricks. Ironically China resemble Duke basketball more than Coach K's U.S. squad, spreading the floor and shooting those 3's in transition. Regardless, USA had the lead almost all the way as China's front line couldn't hang with the likes of Dwight Howard. I think the U.S. had between 200 and 250 dunks in this game. That's a rough estimation.

August 9, 2008

They looked due

Tigers 2-4 Athletics

Unpredictable. They throw a scrub out on the mound, Kenny pitches decent enough, and we muster 5 hits. It doesn't matter the odds or who's pitching or who's injured. Every game is a crap shoot. Emphasis on the crap.
  • The win broke the A's 10 game losing skid.
  • Marcus had a 2-run shot. That was the extent of the extra-base hits tonight for the Tigers.
  • Kenny was average but it should have been good enough. He went 7, gave up 4 runs and 3 walks.
  • The game ended on a pathetic double play by Sheff. Not much else to be said about this one.


  • In lieu of the 20th anniversary of Wayne Gretzky's trade to Los Angeles, Scott Burnside lists some other significant swaps. I thought I was somewhat knowledgeable in the sports history department but I never new that if Gretzky didn't go to LA his other desirable destination was Detroit. Weird. (Apparently he was a Wings fan growing up.) Weren't all of us, though? Sorry if that sounds pompous.
  • Not that I was banking on it, but Josh Smith won't be a Piston. 5 years/$58 mil. sounds quite reasonable for the likes of Smith. That gives the Grizz a young core of OJ Mayo, Mike Conley Jr., Rudy Gay, Arthur Darrel (one of my Draft Day hopefuls) and of course Darko Milicic.

August 8, 2008


Tigers 8-3 White Sox

So much for the bad feeling I had yesterday. Zach Miner came up huge again as the Tigers continue to barely hang onto the ledge. They're still in a position where they can string some games together and trick us into thinking their still in a race for the division. So don't get fooled.
  • Cabrera and Guillen each had enormous nights at the plate, reaching base 10 out of 10 plate appearances combined. Miguel was 3 for 3 with 2 BB's and 3 RBI (85 for the year) and Carlos was 2 for 2, including a triple, with with 3 walks and 3 runs scored.
  • Magglio also tripled as he went 1 for 5. The fact that there were two triples in that park is surprising enough, but to see these two guys pull it off is something else.
  • Curtis homered and scored twice.
  • Zach Miner: 6 IP, 1 ER and no walks. This is what I mean by unpredictable. Yes, Zach has had a couple successful outings as a starter, but how long do you honestly expect this to last? Hopefully long enough until JV becomes a real ace and Nate and Kenny have everything together. That's asking a lot.
  • Good all around performance by the club in this one. Now we've got a 10 game homestand with Oakland, Toronto (4 games), and then Baltimore. Things get underway tonight as Rogers goes up against some dude named Dallas Braden. The Tigers as a team only have 40 plate appearances against Braden and they've rocked him to a tune of a .550 OBP. He's walked 14 guys in only 30 innings of work (1.533 WHIP) so this is somebody the Tigers need to take advantage of. Hopefully they get to their 'pen early to wear down those arms for the rest of the series.
  • The A's have lost 10 games in a row, the last 7 of which have been on the road. This probably means that they're due for one.


Lions 13-10 Giants

The Lions used a late field goal and got a fumble call turned over in their favor to win the first preseason game of the year. You know what that means? We're fucking UNDEFEATED baby.
  • We gotta run the ball. We're going to run the ball. We....still can't run the ball. OK it's a preseason game, whatever. But 2.4 yards a carry on 35 attempts sucks in any game (Tatum Bell: 7 carries, 8 yards). The leading rusher was quarterback Drew Stanton, who squeezed out 26 yards. The O-line looked typical at best.
  • They still managed to look fairly solid at QB though. Kitna was 6 of 7 for 106 yds, Orlovsky 8 of 11, and Stanton 5 of 6 -- all with no picks thrown. As for Kitna, he was moving around (at times not having a choice in the matter) the pocket pretty well. Perhaps this "new philosophy" will see Kitna moving around more to avoid the rush from the infinite number of blocking breakdowns that are sure to come.
  • Calvin Johnson had a nice outing with 4 catches for 78 yards, including 3 on the opening drive.
  • CB Stanley Wilson hurt his achilles but not much is known right now. Jason Hanson suffered a leg strain but apparently it's not too serious.
  • Preseason Game #2 is next Sunday against the Bengals.


August 7, 2008

I don't know if anyone else is aware, Brett Favre was traded!

I know it's not Detroit related but since it will make my life a little more bareable I just felt the need to say how happy I am that the Favre saga is over. Atleast he wasn't traded to the Vikings where I'd have to hear about Favre this Favre that two more games this season. For christs sake that's all that has been littering every sports show I watch on tv or listen to on the radio. Even as I type PTI (on ESPN) is talking about him. Was this ever really was popular as the media has made it? I don't think so, but you wouldn't know it. If I had the money I would've tried to pay sports center to shut the hell up. Is the summer really that slow?

We came up with a new drinking game, since Brett was only traded today we still have some time to play.

The rules are as follows;
Tune in to ESPN or listen to ESPN Radio..... Hell, even your local sports talk radio. Any time you hear one of these words you take a drink. I would say wiskey should be the poison just because Brett seems like the kind of guy who could down a fifth of Jack when he gets upset.

1. Favre
2. Brett Favre
3. Gunslinger
4. Green Bay
5. Packers
(oh, and you have to think of this picture while you drink)

If you played right, you'll be shitfaced in ten minutes or less. Hell, if you tune in before you go to work you can get a DUI on the way. I'm sure the cops won't care when you explain the game and why you're drunk. They're probably just as sick of hearing about him as the rest of us.

Congrats Brett, you changed your mind sixty times. Had a fit when they wouldn't release you. And effectivly gave Skip Bayless another topic to whine about for a few weeks...

Innnnnnntroducing, nummmmmmber 4... BRETT FAVREPLANE!

Links Lite

What I've been reading this afternoon while avoiding my Brett Favre-infected TV:

Red Wings
  • Big shout-out to the Chief of A2Y after yesterday's nod. Having us as the topic of a post on that site is some crazy stuff.
  • Todd McShark saying all the right things out in San Jose. Wouldn't expect anything less. My very early/no-thought-put-into-it prediction says it's us vs. these guys in the WCF.

  • DTW opens up my mind to the world of Pitcher Abuse Points. Pitcher Abuse Points. That sounds awful. What's worse? Verlander is leading that prestigious category. He had another game with a huge count (130) against the Sox last night. Is Leyland even watching these games anymore?

  • The 2008-09 NBA schedule was released yesterday. The Pistons will have to be in top form with some early tests right away, much like last year.

  • The Preseason gets underway tonight against the Super Bowl champs. Word is that the first-stringers will see the predetermined amount of time of 2 series'. Given that this blog started right after the Super Bowl ended, we've had quite a few posts here without having a football game recap yet. That streak should end soon, as I will have one up late tonight or tomorrow morning. Boy, I can barely wait for this 4-12 season to get here.

The White Sox are so good they're hitting make-believe home runs

Tigers 1-5 White Sox

The Tigers are reeling so bad that teams are doing what was once thought to be impossible. Last night, Jim Thome -- according to ESPN -- hit a grand slam with only 2 men on base. Sounds like a Chuck Norris joke.

Other gems from yet another Tiger masterpiece? Here:

CHICAGO (AP) -- John Danks was so good on Wednesday night, White Sox catcher Toby Hall decided to stop calling curveballs.

Why torment the Tigers?

"I just felt after the first inning that he had good command of his [other] three pitches and we decided to get rid of one," Hall said.

  • JV went 7.2 IP, gave up 5 ER on 6 hits, and had 8 K's against 3 walks. He also was left out to throw 130 pitches. On another night that line might have turned out better if he had any run support. That's baseball.
  • A grand total of five Tiger hits tonight. Good lord. Feel the urgency, fellas.
  • Tonight it's Zach Miner against Javy Vazquez. I have a hunch that this one could be bad.

August 6, 2008


Ugh. Any day now, hockey.




If you play all four at the same time, Mickey Redmond pops out of your computer and makes you a grilled cheese sandwich. It's fucked up.

This season is killing me

Tigers 8-10 White Sox (14 innings)

I just don't know what else to add.

  • Carlos, Maggs swinging at first pitch in the 12th. Are you guys in a hurry or something? I mean, it's one thing to try and jump on the fastball, but where do we draw the line and just say that too many guys this season look like they just want to get in and out of the batters box without thinking of the ramifications of what they're fucking doing?
  • I never want to hear the words "we have a 5 run lead" ever again. It feels pointless. It's like saying, "hear, have this 100 dollar bill. You will owe me 100 dollars in 15 minutes, though."
  • Sheff, seriously dude, you no longer "have it". "It" has passed, you need to go. Far be it from a lowly shlump like me to tell you what to do, but dammit, enough is enough.
  • Where was this Rodney-outing in Tampa when we needed it? 3 IP, no runs, 5 K's. Sick stuff.
  • Alexi Ramirez -- who's so skinny I swear he has AIDS -- was 3 for 6 with the game-tying homer in the 8th.
  • Kyle Farnsworth. Kyle Fucking Farnsworth. Once again, I just don't feel like talking about him. Not yet.
  • Ryan Raburn had 4 singles and a stolen base.
  • Bobby Seay continues to be solid, throwing one inning with a K.
  • Antichrist Renteria squeezed out 3 hits. Good for him.
  • I hate bunting. I absolutely hate it. Curtis was forced to do it with no out and one on in the 14th. He's got extra base power. That's his thing -- he's a power threat, mixed in the blazing speed. He's got that shit down. I don't care if he was facing a lefty -- giving up your outs is almost never a good idea. I promise to post the next time I agree with a sacrifice decision, believe me.
  • Placido had a triple, 2 HR and 4 RBI. HuMONgous homer in the 14th after Grandy's botched bunt.
  • Ohhhhhhh, bottom of the 14th. You crazy whore. A lucky hit (the leadoff one), a really good piece of hitting (Quentin), a Renteria fuck up, Jim Thome striking out, and then the bomb that broke the Tigers' back: Nick Swisher.
  • It would be frivolous to bemoan about the proverbial "end" of the season. Hell, I already kinda claimed that happened about 5 different times this year. But these heartbreaking losses, I'm afraid, are continuing to top each other, one by one, until they will eventually kill every Tiger fan before the end of the year. This has been the most disappointing mind-fuck of a baseball season I have ever watched, and we still have to sit through almost 2 months more of it. Nobody can pitch on this team. Yes that's an absurdly broad and thoughtless statement, but every time we really need somebody to step up, only Armando fucking Galarraga has shown up. I love the sport and everything but after nights like this, it's like "how much more can I take?" Just an unreal game. Or should I say, "ANOTHER" unreal game.

August 4, 2008

The Red Wings' summer just got even better

The Wings signed Brad McCrimmon as their newest assistant coach. I have no opinion on this matter other than I remember McCrims from when I played NHL 94 as a kid.

Don't let his 47 overall rating fool you. The Original Mac could obstruct with the best of 'em.

August 3, 2008

I don't think Rodney can do this

Tigers 5-6 Rays

I don't want to sound like "dramatic newspaper guy", but I feel like I witnessed the end of the Tigers' season today.

It was a good back-and-forth game. The Tigers blew a 2 run lead to go down 4-3 in the 8th, but Curtis Granderson got his only hit of the game in the 9th with a huge homerun.

Miguel Cabrera notched his 20th homer of the season in the 10th to put the Tigers on top. This team has been the definition of unpredictable. One loss or win or general momentum swing -- negative or positive -- has absolutely no bearing on the next game or inning whatsoever. It's dumbfounding. So when they blew a crucial lead, got a run back in the 9th and then put themselves in position to win it in the 10th, it seemed all according to the script. It seems like this team could come back from or blow a 10 run lead on any given night. I'm so desensitized now that a report could come out stating Jim Leyland and Andy Van Slyke were having sex before each game and I wouldn't be remotely surprised.

So what was next in store for this game? Fernando blowing the save, of course. This was probably the most crushing loss of the year and I couldn't even bring myself to be upset over this. I just couldn't be upset over something that was so easy to foresee. The most painful thing was listening to the morbid Mario & Rod calling the game-losing walk.

I don't even want to get into Farnsworth, his part in this game was laughable. I failed to comment at all on the Pudge trade, but if I would've said anything about it, I'm pretty sure there would've been a prediction of something like this happening multiple times before season's end. I don't disagree with trading Pudge -- he didn't want to be here and Inge's numbers are similar enough to wear there isn't a huge difference. But Kyle Farnsworth, oh my God.

I'm disappointed but not stunned that we got swept this series. The Rays aren't a good matchup for the Tigers because they seem to do everything right and we find a way to do everything wrong. I know that's the laziest of lazy-ass ways to look at things but with this case it just seems like reality.

Back to Rodney to "close" this post out: if this piss-poor showing wasn't enough to lose the closing job, I hope his embarrassing whining act after a correctly called ball 4 did the trick. Sometimes it looks like Fernando isn't grown up enough to tie his shoes let alone pitch in a Major League game.

August 1, 2008

Future Guy: Hossa not a Wing in 2009-10

Mr. Spector at Fox Sports speculates that Marian Hossa will only be a Red Wing for the 08-09 season while Ken Holland will almost assuredly lock up Hank and the Mule for the long haul.

Right now the Wings have about $41 million tied up for next season with Zetterberg, Franzen and Hossa left unsigned, among others.

Hank (making $2.9 mil this year) is due for a raise of around $4 mil, which would be right around what Datsyuk is making ($6.7). Franzen (making $1.15 mil) will be expecting a new salary of around, let's guess, about $4 million/per. That puts the Wings at around $52 million for next year. Then there's this:

The cap for this year is at $56.7 million. That's a vast increase from the modest $39 mil that was installed for the post-lockout 2005-06 season. Also, if it continues to grow by about 11%, That puts the cap for 09-10 at about $62 million. That's roughly $10 million of space for Hossa, with Hudler, Samuelsson, Kopecky and Conklin left unsigned. I'm sure I'm off by a bit with all of this (safe bet) but considering our wizard of a GM, I feel optimistic that we can keep Hossa for longer than just this season. For whatever that's worth.