March 25, 2009

Wings @ Oilers - Keep them all, Ken

Red Wings 3-2 Oilers

  • Hossa: "WOOHOO, alright, great pass man."
  • Franzen: "Wicked shot dude, way to be there."
  • Hossa: "Yeah, that worked out pretty well, huh?"
  • Franzen: "I'll say -- did you see me brush off Hemsky like a gnat? It was like he was an unattractive groupie and I was Emperor Magus Caligula."
  • Hossa: "What?"
  • Franzen: "He's a metal singer from Swed -- you know what, never mind -- nice goal."
  • Hossa: "No, no, really. Who is that?"
  • Franzen: "Look just Google him after the game, okay? I didn't mean to bring him up."
  • Hossa: "Was he in ABBA?"
  • Franzen: "Hilarious."
  • Hossa: (laughs) "Okay, but for real though, I didn't know you were into metal."
  • Franzen: "There's a lot you don't know about me. I started a foundation called Mule Kick Breast Cancer, I love to cook, and after games I stay at my locker to read Clive Cussler books and do Sudoku."
  • Hossa: "That's cool but back to the metal dude -- I just looked him up with my blackberry and it says on his Wiki that he practices Satanism? For real? Oh -- and he was "impressed" with the killing of a Catholic priest? The fuck's wrong with you bro?"
  • Franzen: "Look asshole I dig his sound, just because I listen to something doesn't mean I agree with the root beliefs of the guy singing it. Of course I don't believe in that shit -- he said the Nazi concentration camps "weren't that bad" ... if I thought stuff like that do you think I'd be friends with Brett Lebda?"
  • Hossa: "Wait -- Brett's Jewish? Didn't he go to Notre Dame?"
  • Franzen: "The fucker looks Jewish, it's close enough for me. Look, this post-goal huddle has lasted long enough, let's head back to the ben--"
  • Mikael Samuelsson: "HAS ANYBODY ELSE SEEN MAMA MIA??"
  • Hossa: (face palms)
  • (Ken Holland emerges from Red Wing locker room wearing an overcoat and one of these.)
  • Holland: "Pssssstt. Mule, Hoss, come over here."
  • Hossa: "Hey Mr. H what's up? Are you allowed down here?"
  • Holland: "Never mind that. Look, just sign this."
  • Franzen: "But shouldn't our agents be here?"
  • Hossa: "Yeah, this seems a bit odd; why do we have to do this now? The game's still going on. And where did you get those glasses?"
  • Holland: "Holmstrom's locker. Now shut up and sign on the dotted line, you two. Hoss, you're going to sign for 8 years at 6.5 per, and Franz you're going to sign for 34 years at about 500K ... trust me, it's worth it in the long stretch but we have to lower the cap hit."
  • Franzen: "O.....kaaayy ...." (confused, signs anyway. Hossa follows suit.)
  • Holland: "Splendid, well done on that goal by the way, boys. Lookin' good out there. Oh one more thing, I had to trim some salary to fit you guys under the cap for next year so I put something in Sammy's water bottle. He'll be gone before you know it and we might even get some compensational draft picks to boot."
  • Franzen: "You're sick, Ken."
  • Holland: (Takes off overcoat, activates jet pack, flies through a Ken Holland-shaped hole in the roof of Rexall Place.)
  • Samuelsson: "HEY WHO PISSED IN MY WATER"

Other insightful game notes:

  • Jonathan Ericsson. Nothing else need to be said because his name alone tells you everything that he did. He's that good. If you still don't know how good he is, then you're a Predators fan.
  • It was nice to see Fil score at the end, especially since it turned out to be the game winner. A blind orangutan could've scored on that easy rebound, but good for Fil nonetheless.
  • I loved the Babcock interview after the game. John Keeting asked about the Maltby/Pav/Homer line, to which Babs sheepishly grinned as if to say "Yeah that was pretty fucked up, right?"
  • The Mule to Hossa goal was immaculate. Franzen turned Ales Hemsky into a waste of human existence when he blew by him. He looked annoyed with Hemsky's presence. And who says he needs work on his passing game? That was nearly a no-looker.
  • I said before the game that Homer was a scratch, but that was before I heard that Homer gets to do whatever he wants. He wanted to play, so apparently he played. And I barely noticed him.
  • The face you make when you're team is up 1-0 the entire game but you know they're going to blow it at the end:


Osrt said...

Well done boys; this was a fantastic read.

cmk said...

I HAVE to quit reading your posts while drinking coffee--I WILL bill you for new monitor one of these days! (And I will continue reading even though you don't show Filppula any REAL love. ;))

Alzy said...

That was bloody brilliant guys! I gotta make this blog a regular stop now along with A2Y. Sammy just comes across as a loud mouth retard lol. In Ken We Trust.

Cameron Kittle said...

awesome. loved Sammy jumping in with Mamma Mia...perfection in blog form. Nice work guys.

Kyle said...


that's gotta be pretty close to how it's going to go down, Holland clearly did something like that to get Zetterberg and Datsyuk to the contracts that they have now.

Nate A said...

Ha, that's great work.

Rumbear said...

Love the Babcock quote!

(hey look an exclamation point)