April 17, 2009

Wings vs. Blue Jackets - "Oz-zee, Oz-zee"

Western Conference Quarterfinals, Game 1
Red Wings 4-1 Blue Jackets

This one is dedicated to reader Tram. His (or her? I've been fooled before, although usually it involves a poorly lit back alley, heroin, and a complete re-examination of the meaning of life) optimistic comments over the past few weeks regarding one Chris Osgood were thought by me to be the result of somebody watching Teletubbies for 14 straight hours, searching for a stream of the Mighty Ducks movies and accidentally coming across our site, and then feeling compelled to explore the comment space by spreading some positive Osgood vibe. Now I'm rethinking things. I believe that you, sir/ma'am, know what the fuck you were talking about. And I commend you for that. I'd also like to know how you can follow the Wings and not be a raving lunatic like the rest of us, and, perhaps, someday I'll have you write up a toutorial so that we have some guidelines. And if you all of a sudden stopped reading TTD and don't see this? Then I hate you for making me double check the spelling of "Teletubbies" which of course led me to watching it in a hypnotic state for a full 10 minutes on Youtube. Onto the recap.

  • There was a distinct "you're hot!" during Karen Newman's national anthem. Good omen.
  • We got our first shock to the system very early after a huge give-away by Stuart in front of Ozzie. Ho hum, here comes the obvious goa.... wait, wait a minute, he saves it. What? This completely contradicts an entire season's worth of trends and bad habits. Defensive breakdown and Oz bails them out? Fucking. Batshit.
  • The early penalties were mind-humpingly frustrating. I don't know if that's just the Playoffs in me talking or what, but it put me in a foul mood.
  • The Blue Jackets got 13 of their 21 shots in the first period. I'm willing to bet a number of those came in the first half of the period as well, but of course I don't have proof of this. Anyway I was a little worried after a few long passes weren't cut off between the blue lines, but that trend didn't take hold for the rest of the game. The Wings did a spectacular job clamping down and holding the BJ's to two shots the entire 3rd period. They literally could have shot 100% in the 3rd and still would have lost by a goal.
  • Physical Wings: out-hit the BJ's 37 to 26. I was shocked how they were throwing their bodies around to be honest; clearly that was a part of Babs' game plan, to take the physicality to the bigger Columbus team. The Wings had one player (Stuart) who had more than 130 hits during the regular year, whereas Columbus had five. I'm curious how this will play out the rest of the series.
  • This just dawned on me: it's the Cock series. Babcock vs. Hitchcock. You can tell me that's the dumbest thing I've ever written, but whatever. It's staying. We're up 1-0 in the Cock Cup.
  • Are we sure this is Ericsson's first playoff? Doesn't he look a little too comfortable back there on the blue line for this to be his first time? And don't tell me that he was lucky on his first career playoff goal -- he obviously was baiting Malhotra to stick his glove up to ricochet the puck into the net, because he knew Manny would be that dumb.
  • I'm giving a golf clap to anyone who went to the game; the atmosphere looked great and the noise was noticeable from my chair at home. Well done.
  • Of course no calls for Homer, who had a heated feud with Klesla brewing all night. There was so much clutching and grabbing that I'd have to call the sexuality of a few BJ players into question. I've said it before, and I'll probably say it a dozen other times, but I have no idea how Homer does what he does. For him to accept the punishment and deal with being blackballed by every referee in the league, he has to love playing hockey more than anybody else out there, or he has to be legally retarded.
  • Jiri Hudler records the first Wings goal of the playoffs, off of a Columbus defensive breakdown. Everyone always says that the underdogs have to bury their chances when they get them, but honestly, don't both teams? The favorites need to bury those same chances to keep the underdog's confidence to a minimum.
  • The Umberger goal for the Jackets: Kronner tries a drop pass in the D zone without looking and Raf wasn't there to support, who stopped skating on the play as the replay showed. You'll probably read a lot today about Raf having a subpar game. He took two penalties and then had this gaffe to wrap the bow on a questionable performance.
  • Marian Hossa is on a mission. He's a beast.
  • The most comical thing of the night was when a puck went off of Sammy's stick and hit, who else, Dan Cleary on the Bench. This poor bastard. He can't escape Sam's accident-prone goofiness on the ice (he's the one who broke Dan's jaw last year, remember, and has been struck by at least a couple shots in front of the net), or any of his other teammates for that matter. And now the bench isn't even safe for him. I wouldn't be surprised one bit if I wake up one morning and read that Cleary snapped and brought a gun to work.
  • Awesome night for the third liners: Fil = 2 Assists, Jiri = goal and assist, Sammy = 2 assists, five hits and somehow no missed shots.
  • Finally, how about this quote from Osgood (DetNews): “I don’t doubt myself ever,” Osgood said. “People that don’t know me do. I’ve played for 15 years. I have the most wins in Red Wings playoff history for a reason, not because I’m a bad goalie. Oh, and tell The Triple Deke to lick my taint.”
Oz, you do that 15 more times and you've got deal.

Go Wings.


Anonymous said...

Thank you. I had a song dedicated to me once. Even had a couple of All Points Bulletins dedicated to me, but never a blog post. I'm verklempt. Just remember, when all looks lost and you are down and out - Opie will restore you.


James said...

"This just dawned on me: it's the Cock series. Babcock vs. Hitchcock. You can tell me that's the dumbest thing I've ever written, but whatever. It's staying. We're up 1-0 in the Cock Cup."

Hey, you're apparently not the only one with this on his mind. Check out Roger Millions' gaffe regarding the Chicago/Calgary series:


Triple Deke Staff said...

Amazing, thanks for linking that.

Rob said...

Maybe it's the good mood that Ozzie put me in last night, but that was the funniest game recap you guys have ever posted. Well done.

TDeters said...

You guys rock. Well done. And I love how "taint" is listed along with "Osgood", "Babcock", etc. in the tagline.

cmk said...

And my boy (Filppula)came through--knew he had it in him and would step up in the playoffs! Hope he can keep it going.

Triple Deke Staff said...

cmk, to be fair, I should've half dedicated this post to you too for you're love of Fil. He had a really, really strong game.

- Tyler

Osrt said...

I call Fil ManCrush cause I love that Aryan bastard.

Well done as always guys; the laughs helped reduce my stress on gameday.

Anonymous said...

full play-by-play:
7 CJB-shots in the first 7 minutes

Anonymous said...

btw: you're just hilarious, the weird(os) are back, grow on ;)