May 22, 2009

Wings @ Blackhawks pregame - Don't get greedy

After last night, you might assume that we're on a collision course for dream rematch.

Absolutely stupid performance.  Eight shots, three goals, an assist, and two parents having sex in the stands.  We can't get ahead of ourselves though.  

"We"?  Who is "we"?  Shouldn't this only apply to the people playing the game?

 If these rhetorical questions were asked by an actual person, I would punch that person in the throat.  Like right on the Adam's apple.  Think about that -- wouldn't that hurt?  You'd almost rather be punched in the balls, because at least you know what that feels like.  You're brain could at the very least recognize it and begin the coping process.  The shock of getting punched in the throat would almost take precedent over the actual pain.  But then the pain would probably set in and consume your entire life.

And once this made-up person (who we'll call Jeremy Roenick for the purpose of this waste of time) gets up off the floor, I'd tell them, "No, you blood turd, this involves all of us.  The Stanley Cup Playoffs are 97% karma and superstition.  It's why we take our pants off during tie games, shower with hats, sit in our lucky seats and avoid the unlucky ones.  It's why you people grow beards and eat the same pregame meal for two months straight.  Everything we do or don't do has some effect on the hockey universe whether you know it or not.  You don't fuck around with this shit."

The Free Press set us back by a couple of decades in the karma department with their audacious "inevitable" Cup Finals decree.  I read that headline and I almost threw my computer out the window in fear that the ghost of Steve Chiasson would shoot lightning down upon me.  It felt disgusting reading it.  Now?  Now the status of Pavel Datsyuk's foot is causing more anxiety than any of us care to deal with.


"A lot of guys on this team have played with each other, so I don't think it's going to be that big of (an adjustment),'' Filppula said. "Nobody's a stranger."


Babcock said rookie Ville Leino might make his playoff debut if Datsyuk can't play.

Leino practiced on the fourth line Thursday with Kris Draper and Kirk Maltby, whom Babcock said would return to action after sitting out three games. If Leino plays, he would replace Justin Abdelkader, who played the last five games.


Chris Osgood = dead horse.  He's been dead for a while now.  But people still want to beat the living deceased shit out him.

The claim made in the article that Detroit Free Press article that I most disagree with is that Chris Osgood is a Hall of Famer.  That claim is wrong.

Nice grammar.

The same exact topic was discussed on the same site less than a month ago.  Saying it once is okay, I suppose; no sense in hiding opinions when you're writing a sports blog.

Saying it again and again is attention whoring. Especially when you've been receiving tons of heat lately for everything you write, and you know the shit storm it's going to create.  Knowing the reaction doesn't take away the right to say something, obviously, but it does make you look like a fucking toolbag.


I'll have to cut this short due to my busy schedule of staring at a TV and blinking.  Pointless Prediction:

* Blackhawks 5-3 Red Wings.  I think I'd go with the Blackhawks whether Pav plays or not.  This just doesn't feel like a 3-0 series to me.


Nick said...

His arguments were so logically flawed. Once I got to the part where he was using baseball hall of fame standards I started to develop a brain tumor.

Chris Moore said...

Tyler - don't ever pick against the Wings again. That just fucks up my day. Seriously. No not really. But seriously.

RT said...

i wonder how many goalies with 3 or more cups aren't in the hall of fame

i have no energy to look any of this up but im gonna say zero

cmk said...

At least you're getting some exercise by blinking. Keep up the good work--your Mom would be proud.

Anonymous said...

Everyone knows my stance on Opie. Enough said. I will agree with Chris Moore though, Tyler - What the???? This prediction is disturbing, to say the least. I will light a candle for Opie, the Wings, and for YOU.