June 17, 2009

Wanna talk about the draft?


Seems as though the discussion is a little light over at ESPN's official Red Wings draft conversation page.

It's ultra heavy, however, at Kyle's brand new Babcock's Death Stare (formerly of WTF Hollandfame). His extensively detailed mock draft has begun with parts 1 and 2. By the time I got to around pick #18 I came to the realization that Kyle knows more about the 2009 draft than I know about my entire life, at which point my brain started leaking out of my ears (always an indicator of a good read). Last year I was a bit more draft-conscious than I had ever been, so this year I thought I'd continue that by reading up on some of the players not named John Tavares. The first non-Tavares dude is behemoth Victor Hedman of Sweden (6' 6"/220).

2. Tampa Bay Lightning – Victor Hedman, D.

Hedman is as much the right choice for Tampa Bay as Tavares is for New York. Hedman is a gigantic Swedish defenseman, tipping in at nearly 6-foot-6 and close to 220 pounds. That kind of size alone will grab any team’s attention, but that’s not why scouts like Hedman. He is an outstanding, fluid skater and effortlessly moves the puck up the ice with composure. At this point in his career, he is much more offensively minded. He jumps up in the rush and boasts a strong set of hands and a heavy shot. He should be ready for full-time NHL duty almost immediately, as he has played with men in the Swedish Eliteserien for two full seasons now. Scouts would like to see Hedman play more physically and put a little more meanness in his game. He relies on his stick to make defensive plays and has been guilty of looking a little too unpolished in high pressure games. He will develop in time, and Tampa Bay gets the cornerstone defensive player to the cornerstone offensive player they took #1 overall last season (Steven Stamkos).


What does this have to do with the Red Wings? Well for the two minutes that I spent linking and copying and pasting that stuff, I wasn't thinking about Max Talbot. And as long as I'm not thinking about Max Talbot, I'll be able to lead a normal life where I'm not screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOKDJAF;IDJKCEKFA;" on buses and in line at restaurants, and I can be a fully functioning member of society. No cursing at strangers, no vomiting blood, no stealing infants from strollers on the street and punting them -- just regular ol' life. That's what I want. I want to be able to do basic things like breathing and walking without thinking about Talbot. (I was cooking a Hot Pocket today, and when the timer got down to about 35 seconds, I snapped and yelled "HOLD THE POST!!" before punching a hole through the microwave.)

6 comments:

Chris said...

Jesus fuck, that poor microwave had no idea what it was in for.

RT said...

I think it's time that Max Talbot officially earned the 2009 Claude Lemieux Trophy for Excellence in Making Me Want to Punch Him in the Throat and also a spot on the All-Nemesis Team over Adam Deadmarsh.

As much as I hate Deadmarsh for being another average player who played like a 50-goal scorer every time against the wings, he never incited this sort of mental scarring and abuse of household appliances.

Tyler said...

Funny you say that RT, because that thought actually crossed my mind for a second. Deadmarsh obviously had more cracks at the Wings over the years with the Avs (and then came back to life as a King in '01 .... I just threw up through my nose) ...

... but Talbot's goals are already horrifyingly legendary. "34.7" was the most sickening moment that I and I'm guessing many of us have ever experienced as Wings fans; He had two goals in Game 3 and two heartbreaking goals in Game 7. The Triple Deke/Cameron Kittle tag team will have to discuss the merits of this swap -- that is, if Cam's still alive. After seeing this, I'm not so sure:

http://motorcitysports19.blogspot.com/2009/06/hockey-postponed.html

cmk said...

I just want to kidnap Hedman, change his name, and find a way to give him to the Wings for free. The kid looks like he just might be pretty amazing. (I won't comment on Tavares because I'm sick of hearing/reading his name--just like Stamkos last year.)

Kris said...

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one with a Max Talbot-inspired neurosis.

cmk said...

I just pretend there is no person named Telb...Tar...Tibb...whatever. As is evident in my last comment.