July 31, 2009

I am Bored: Episode VI

The "Greatest Goals" Red Wings team of the modern era

Last summer I did my Top 10 Red Wings Games. That post was so long that I don't think I ever read it. It could be a pile of dog shit for all I know.

This year I was going to pair it with a "Top 10 Red Wings Goals" thing, but most of them would have already appeared in those games, and probably in a similar order. So instead, I'll haphazardly tie it in to our "Bored" series by assembling a team of those goal scorers, and accompany the team with videos and happy thoughts. How it's really all that different I don't know. But hopefully it will make up for this.

Shanahan (Hurricanes, '02) - Yzerman (Blues, '96) - McCarty (Flyers, '97)
Shanahan (Avalanche, '02) - Larionov (Hurricanes, '02) - Brown (Capitals, '98)
Shanahan (Avalanche, '97) - Draper (Capitals, '98) - Hull (Hurricanes, '02)
Shanahan (Blues, '98) - Yzerman (Avalanche, '97) - Hudler (Penguins, '08)

Lidstrom (Canucks, '02) - Lidstrom (Hurricanes, '02)
Lidstrom (Predators, '08) - Rafalski (Penguins, '08)
Schneider (Sharks, '07) - Murphy (Stars, '98)

Osgood (Whalers, '96)

13 of the 19 goals are game-winners. The Hurricanes/Whalers appear five times. And apparently I like Brendan Shanahan.

Here's the breakdown, with links:


Lidstrom appears three out of a possible six times. Much of this has to do with the fact that he's been playing for the Red Wings since before I even started following the team. During this stretch he has scored some big time goals.

My two favorite Lidstrom goals occurred in the same playoff run. His biggest goal as a Red Wing was a 90 foot bomb from center ice (2:35 mark) that helped save the team from what surely would've been the most embarrassing playoff exit in their history. A few weeks later, with the Wings down a game to the Hurricanes in the Finals, Lidstrom unlocked a 1-1 tie with a laser of a one-timer that beat Arturs Irbe's glove late in the 3rd period. (No video found. Watch this instead.)

Rounding out the defense is Rafalski with the ultimate "Thank fucking Moses they scored first" goal of all time in Game 6 of last year's Finals; Lidstrom again with another 90 footer against Nashville; Schneider's OT winner (2:40 mark) against the Sharks; and good old Uncle Larry Murphy with an awkward, goofy looking backhander in the 1998 Conference Finals (0:30 mark) clincher.


It's awesome that I can draw up a team of goal scorers and include a goalie. Great music there too.


* Starting from the "4th line" and going up. I will try not to let the Jiri Hudler situation taint my lasting memories of him, or this ginormous goal. That was a huuuuge goal. I look forward to the day when I can link a KHL highlight of his without wanting to light myself on fire.

*Shanahan begins his left wing stranglehold with this Double OT winner against the Blues (6:30 mark) in 1998. Forget for a second that the Wings were playing the Blues and how us beating them is as natural as gravity -- wasn't this game completely terrifying?

* Yzerman makes his first appearance with his bank shot on Roy in '97 playoffs (3:10 mark .... Bob Rouse sighting at 3:28).

* Drapes has to be on this team, if for nothing else, because Brent and I have mocked Gary Thorne's call of this goal (KRIS DRAAAPEERRRRR!!!) roughly 10 thousand times.

*Brett Hull's game-tying goal in Game 3 of the '02 Finals was when the "no pants" playoff superstition was born (again no video ... damn these Carolina games).

* Shanny's empty netter to seal the series against the Avs in '97 was incredibly sweet (8:15). Oh, so sweet.

* Igor Larionov finished off what Brett Hull started, scoring at like 6 AM to put a giant knife into Carolina's back. My pants would remain on during games for the next seven years until the superstition came out of the closet retirement against the Ducks this year.

* Doug Brown's goal against the Capitals, Game 2 of the Finals. Crazy, crazy game. But that video clip is legendary -- you get Esa Tikkinen missing the open net, Doug Brown scoring the equalizer, and then the best part: the shot of the guy trying to squeeze a lump of coal into a diamond with his ass cheeks (0:26 mark).

* Shanahan with the "Statue of Liberty Goal". This one is pleasing in about 45 different ways. Many athletes would hide their disappointment or at least try to minimize it -- Patrick Roy doubles over in complete disbelief as he prepares to give up 7 more goals in the next 4 periods.

* The final Shanny goal is his second empty netter, the one that sealed the 2002 Stanley Cup. He scores the goal, and then he and Yzerman attempt to make a baby.

* Darren McCarty. Scientists to this day are still analyzing this goal to figure out how in the hell it happened.

* If Clint Eastwood spat in your mother's face and called her a whore, it still wouldn't be as badass as Steve Yzerman doing this.


Cameron Kittle said...

Here I am, starting the work day with a nice Triple Deke post that will certainly take up a good half hour of work time considering the amount of video links...la de da...how wonderful. Oooh, no video of Captain Nick beating Irbe? He must have replaced that with some other amazing Nick goOHMYGOD. He threw in the Duckett video. And of course it's the version without the incredible controversy of the world's first ever minute-long second.

You. Bastard.

Anonymous said...

I really could watch the McCarty goal on a continuous loop for the rest of my days and not tire of it. I needed some cheering up today. Thanks


J.J. from Kansas said...

Oh, Statue of Liberty Goal... how many dark nights have you gotten me through?

Osrt said...

These make me so happy. I feel like a little school girl must when she learns, for the first time, that her pedophile teacher was hung by the hairs on his ballsack. It's just one of those pure joys, like the taste of fresh air.

Tyler said...

Not only that, it's the grainy Zapruder version of the Duckett video. That was arguably the single most exciting MSU moment of my lifetime and I've never found a regular broadcast version of it. Anyone who manages to find it and sends it to me gets $100 Deke Bucks to spend in the non-existent TTD store.

Baroque said...

Okay, you are forgiven for making me cuss earlier in the summer. Now doesn't it feel better if your mind wanders off in directions like this instead?


Baroque said...

The Wings all looked so young in those clips - there are still young Wings on the team, of course, but not the same ones.

I miss Sergei. :(

Still, considering how he had to defect to play hockey, even with all the stupidity and ugliness between the KHL and the NHL right now, it's still a change for the better that he can now return to his home country and play hockey by his own choice. And I'll never forget that playoff goal he scored with Washington this year because as soon as I saw him skate along the right side and stop on a dime, I knew the goalie had no chance - no one ever did. (And then I was afraid that Ovechkin would kill him with too much celebrating.) :)

And so, so funny to see Nick take the odd shot from center ice ever since then on the off shot it would go in. Hee-hee.

AxeMaster9 said...

I think what the list really shows us, other then how awesome the Red Wings are, is that hockey needs to be back on ESPN. or at the very least versus should hire gary thorne and bill clement.

Cameron Kittle said...


I hope the Triple Deke store has some sweet shit because this is me claiming my 100 Deke bucks.

Triple Deke Staff said...

Almost Cam -- if you can find it with the ABC announce crew audio, then i will grant you your fake money. I need a visual that isn't marred by the UM announcers bemoaning over the clock stoppage and the missed holding call (they made it sound like Lloyd Carr was ass raped and left for dead) ... the 'Brent Musburger toward the end of his prime' version MUST be out there somewhere.

- Tyler

signals3_t5 said...

Yeah... I agree you Triple Deke Staff !!!

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