August 18, 2009

Un fucking real


The Detroit Red Wings could be poised to welcome another former player back to town.

General manager Ken Holland confirmed Monday the club is negotiating with free-agent forward Todd Bertuzzi.

"We're talking to him," Holland said.

Holland declined further comment, but a league source said the club offered Bertuzzi a one-year deal worth $1.5 million for next season, and that there is a strong indication that a deal will get done this week.



Robert Lang's still out there. I'm sure Hasek is about due for another comeback. Maybe it's not too late to swing a deal for Kyle Calder.


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Assuming that this is inevitable, I'm going to start talking myself into this right now. I just don't know where to begin.

I don't care about the price tag in this situation. It's great that they replaced Hudler's would-be salary and point total with a couple of cheaper guys. But at what expense?

Bertuzzi is an injury/penalty prone 34 year old power forward who doesn't actually play a power forward game anymore. Whatever amount of "grit" that people want to believe he still has is fantasy; it's based on past reputation only. He avoids contact now and disappears from games. He's not a good enough all-around player to be taking away someone else's 1st or 2nd line minutes on this team, and he's not going to grind or hustle his way as a 3rd or 4th liner. He doesn't exactly shit Selke trophies, either.

I'll try this again:

Datsyuk - Zetterberg - Holmstrom
Cleary - Filppula - Franzen ....


... I can't fucking do it. Why are they talking to this guy? Are they going to push Helm to the 4th line? Compromise Leino's worth by splitting up his minutes (not to mention piss him off)? Take Maltby out to the Ohio border and strand him in a corn field? Wait, I know: they'll stunt the development and chemistry of what their current lineup could provide by wasting their time with a signing like this.

6 comments:

Baroque said...

Helm and Leino both deserve better. So do Eaves and even Williams, for that matter.

When you have good young players, SEE WHAT THE HELL THEY CAN DO, WHY DON'T YOU! THE EARTH WON'T EXPLODE IF THE RED WINGS GET YOUNGER!!!

Fuckity fucking fuckity fuck. :(

Maybe he'll blow out his knee and throw out his back in training camp? Right now I'm in the position of rooting for a season-ending injury for that useless waste of carbon because I just can't watch a team that has that on it. I just can't do it.


Damn it to hell. And I was so looking forward to this season, too.

J.J. from Kansas said...

If you think it's bad now, just wait until Homer's back starts acting up in December and Bertuzzi gets his spot on the first line with Datsyuk and Zetterberg.

It'll be the circus-circus-carnie line.

Anonymous said...

This is just so depressing. No words.....

Tram

JB said...

I leave for awhile, come back, and all hell breaks loose. And thanks, this made me sad...

"Wait, I know: they'll stunt the development and chemistry of what their current lineup could provide by wasting their time with a signing like this."

I'm with Baroque, FUCK

cmk said...

Went on a road trip today and came home to this and MORE news about Brett Favre. My day REALLY went to shit.

Chris said...

Guy scores almost two thirds of a points per game. for that kinda money, he's a great 3rd line guy.

Worst case scenario, he sucks, he gets cut basically, and the Wings have the same line-up as you wrote.

Best case, the Bertuzzi comes back, is 3/4 of the player he once was, scores 30, all for 1.5 million.

This is a risky signing, but why the hell not? It isn't like he is a locker room cancer, that has never been mentioned on any team. Plus the Avs hate them some Bertuzzi.