September 14, 2009

NHL 10 & the Annual Player Ratings Rant

The Sega season previews will return soon. In the meantime, we'll stay on the topic of video games as we take a gander at this link sent by reader Marc: the top eight players sorted by overall rating for the upcoming "NHL 10".

It's worth noting that there is nothing more cliche, petty or pointless than complaining about the seemingly arbitrary player ratings on a video game, especially in an age when you can edit the players on your own, and double especially when the game itself is supposedly so awesome that neither of us will have girlfriends by the end of 2009. Yet it's always the #1 topic with the release of each sports game, and after all these years it is still a great time-waster.

Now if you'll ignore the inexplicable tiger scratches through Datsyuk's face and notice the rating of one Johan Franzen. It's 83, which makes him equally good at hockey as Tomas Holmstrom. Here is a list of notable players who are an 83 or better:

Jason Blake
Andy McDonald
Petr Sykora
Mike Comrie
Brenden Witt
Something called a Zbynek Michalek
Jamie Langenbrunner
Mike Ribeiro
Mike Commodore.
R.J. Umberger
Joffrey Lupul
Ryan Malone
Steve Stamkos
Jay McKee. Jay fucking McKee.


Other highlights include:

* The three best skaters are Crosby (94), Malkin (93), and Iginla (93). Ovechkin is a 92.

* Lidstrom (91) is not the highest rating Red Wing for the first time in years. Pronger is higher than him at 92.

* Mike Green = 84 .... Not saying he should be higher, but 84 is surprisingly low considering that he puts up video game numbers for a defensman. That coupled with Ovechkin ranked T-4th with Datsyuk as the best player (and this doesn't include goalies) probably won't sit well with Washington gamers.

* Defensemen that Robyn Regehr is better than: Brian Rafalski, Andrei Markov, Mike Green, Shea Webber, Mark Streit, Jay Bouwmeester, equal to Dan Boyle, and better than Duncan Keith by a staggering 4 whole points.

* Most shocking of all: Daniel Sedin is a point higher than brother Henrik -- the first recorded instance we've seen that suggests they aren't the same exact person.


J.J. from Kansas said...

Alfonso Ribeiro gets much of his stat boost from the fact that his goal celebration dances are nothing short of awesome.

John W. said...

Iginla at #3? Vomit.
Franzen at 83? Riiiight.

Osrt said...

Damn...these numbers have gotten stingy. Sergei used to be a 99 skater.

Animal Drew said...

I'm waiting for the first-person view of Crosby punching someone in the nads.

I hope the Wings start off the season in Sweden better than I did...4-0 loss to the BBBB's, ouch. Started GM Mode off on All-Star with zero practice. Haven't lost since that first game.

On a side note...surprise, surprise, Osgood is terrible! He has a GAA of less than two but his save percentage is like .750 or some crap.

Triple Deke Staff said...

You still sound like you got off to a better start than we did. We started a playoff and lost to the BJ's in 6 games. Datsyuk got injured.

We weren't too mad though because the game is too good for words.

Animal Drew said...

Once you realize that trying to actually check someone along the boards is futile. The game is so in love with its new "battle along the boards" that they make it impossible to knock someone off the puck, just so you have to do it. It was frustrating at first, but you get the hang of it. I love the new "flailing" thing that the goalie does. Oh and how you have to direct your passes more simply pushing forward and then saying "HEY, that's not who I wanted to pass to!"

daniel said...

but regehr is very good.

Anonymous said...

go blackhawks!