September 17, 2009

Preseason Game #1 -- Wings vs. Flyers


It feels good to start off a post with a scoreboard again. And look -- it's bigger now. Large text for greater emphasis. And what the hell, why not some big ass capital letters too since it's 2009 and all. Kick this decade out in style. Oh, and how about the straight line underneath? Like that? Look at how straight that shit is. Nice and flat. Like a pancake. A blueberry one.


Ok, (cracks fingers) so first recap of the season. It's been a while .... Hmm, how do we do this again ..... let's see ....... just gonna take a second here and look up the last Wings game as a referenceOOHHHH TAP DANCING CHRIST ON A FORKLIFT---

New Triple Deke rule: 2008-09 never happened. None of us saw anything. We all hugged each other with our eyes closed as the season came to an apocalyptic end and we were lucky to make it out alive. Then, after all of the Nazi Penguins players and fans were all burned alive, Bob Rouse calmly picked up the Cup and put it back in a gigantic warehouse where we'll never see it again. And then I think we all had sex.

But anywho, being that the game wasn't on TV nor local radio, we were blessed to hear the soothing sounds of Philadelphia radio last night for the preseason opener. A combination of my own tardiness and other-worldly intervention limited my hockey enjoyment to roughly 45 seconds. During that time the Wings scored their 3rd and final goal to entertain the home crowd and annoy the douche baggy Philly announcers. Granted I think that judging 45 seconds worth of announcing is unfair, but since I've already started a sentence that's a complete lie, I'm going to continue to think that those guys were tools.


  • Kris has a good recap of what was heard at the Joe.

"Based on the play-by-play, it seemed like Ericsson, Draper, Abdelkader, Datsyuk, Kindl, and Delmore were the only Wings on the ice. I can't remember hearing anyone else's name called. It's also possible that they're the only players that the anouncers knew. It's a workable theory. They had a nice chuckle when Larsson took over in net because they didn't know who he was."

You know you suck at your job when opening up a computer to look over some names for five minutes is too difficult.

At one point I heard one of the guys call him "Justin Abdafdfiaadfedfdk." This is something that I've never understood; if I were on radio or TV, I would obsess over name pronunciation. There isn't anything more glaringly ridiculous as mispronouncing somebody's name on the air. Shit, Gary Thorne on NHL 10 says "Johan FRAAN-zen" and "Ville LINE-oh" and that guy did hockey games for like 30 years. I don't get this.

"Forwards Kris Draper, Jamie Tardif, and Jeremy Williams each scored to lift the Red Wings to a 3-1 win over the Philadelphia Flyers on Wednesday night at Joe Louis Arena in the preseason opener for both teams.

Red Wings' starting goalie Jimmy Howard made six saves in a little over 30-minutes and his replacement, goaile prospect Daniel Larsson, stopped 12 shots.

James Van Riemsdyk scored for Philadelphia and goalie Ray Emery made 23 saves in two periods. Brian Boucher stopped eight shots.

The Red Wings held a 36-21 advantage in shots on goal."

Nobody died. Game #2 is at the Joe on Friday against the Rangers.


mrfluffy02 said...

21 shots on goal. I'd like to see that average continue for...oh...the next 125 games.

Random useless thought- I wonder if Jonny Ericsson taught Christ to tap dance?

Animal Drew said...

Johnny Ericsson only tap dances on people's graves...come to think about it, that might be what resurrected Jesus. His soft-shoe has the exact opposite effect.

J.J. from Kansas said...

The Philly announcers were terrible. They didn't spend much time mentioning Flyers players either because the color guy was too busy crying about Datsyuk winning the Selke and telling everybody that the Lady Byng is for pussies.

I bet if they renamed it the Punchface McRockgroin Sportsmanship Trophy then people would respect it.

cmk said...

It's ALWAYS good when nobody dies.

Didn't get to hear the game and I'm not too sad--I've read nothing good about the announcers, at all.

Micah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.