RANGERS 4-2 RED WINGS
I cut a class that I probably shouldn't have in order to watch the Wings lose a preseason game in which they dressed like two of their regulars, Dan Cloutier, a rhino, and I think Dave Coulier. It's not so bad though, I'm not on speaking terms with Michigan State at the moment anyway (long story short: they slept with my girlfriend.) So what was the best way to show them I'm not to be messed with? Start a torrid love affair with Lansing Community College, grab my ankles and hope that the Wings got out of MSG without any more groin mishaps.
- It was an ugly, sloppy first period. Sloppy and wet; like a newspaper that got left out in the rain, and then you go to pick it up after 3 hours and you get all the ink and mud and paper clumps on your hands. That's what the first period was -- it was like having the bloody muddy ink clumps of Brad Stuart's turnover prone retard hands spread all over your living room walls.
- Datsyuk was again brilliant. And after watching these last two games, I realize that I'm going to think about Datsyuk's thigh bruise/charley horse thing from the playoffs for the rest of my life. I'm not making excuses; I don't like playing the "they didn't earn it" card, or any other card aside from "we lost". But I'll always, always wonder "what if".
- Dan Cloutier, the goalie guy, came in to relieve Daniel Larsson midway through the 2nd period. He was wearing a black helmet and black pads. To say he looked ridiculous would be an insult to Charlie Weis' mammoth frontal ass.
- If you think that you were in disbelief that Dan Cloutier played a game for the Red Wings, NHL.com was apparently right with you. Their goalie stats from the box score reveal that the Wings played the final half hour of the game without a goaltender.
- Shots by period: 4-18 ... 16-4 ... 10-8
- As a part of their plan to shore up their penalty kill with an infinite amount of practice, the Wings put the Rangers on the power play eight times, and allowed two goals.
- Marian Gaborik made a really nice play on the Rangers' second goal, holding onto the puck forever, gliding around the net and finding Enver Lisin for a one-timer. Gaborik had the puck so long that my right eye pulled it's hamstring watching him.
- Justin Abdelkader helped set up Kirk Maltby who in turn helped confuse the fuck out of all people watching this game as he notched a one-timer goal from the circle.
- I thought Larsson hung in there pretty well after giving up the three goals. The first one resulted from a failed clear, the second one on the Gaborik setup, and the third occurred after Kindl choked on his own scrotum along the boards and turned the puck over. As for Cloutier, he wasn't really tested all that much, but in the end I was shocked that he didn't give up a single goal. To be honest, I was left feeling oddly disappointed.
- Next game: Tomorrow, 7:00, @ Philadelphia Flyers