November 14, 2009

The Ducks are the Best 14th Seed In NHL History


7:00 -- Joe Louis Arena

Ducks: 6-8-3 (15 pts), 14th in West | Wings: 9-5-3 (21 pts), 8th in West

'Tis the first meeting of the year with our arch rivals. Don't feed me that nonsense about the Hawks being the top enemy because of the tradition, or the Avs because of the 90's, or the Blues because their fans hate us to the point where I don't visit their sites out of fear that one of them will jump through my computer and rape my unborn children. Anaheim is #1 until Chicago can prove otherwise. It doesn't matter that Pronger is gone -- the Ducks could ice 17 clones of Steve Yzerman and put my grandmother in goal, and if the 18th skater was Corey Perry I'd still want their entire team to toss Pierre McGuire's salad while he's infected with dysentery.


Ducks blog of choice: Earl Sleek at Battle of California

The degree of difficulty on this post was through the roof: a mock translation of a mock interview that the fake Sammy Pahlsson did with a mock Swedish newspaper. Just click and read the whole thing, it's astounding. I would've laughed more while reading it if I hadn't kept turning to the lamp next to me and saying, "You know, this is really, really well written, Lamp. I'm not crazy. I know you can hear me."


Some thoughts about this clip:

1) I still can't believe that game was tied with just 3 minutes to go.

2) I miss Jiri Hudler. At the end of the video you see him lean over and rub Cleary's head, talking to him, giving him some hearty "atta boy"s and more than likely there was some clucking going on. Just a cool thing to see.

3) If you lean in really close, you can hear Ken Daniels' nipples puncture his shirt.


Baroque said...

Corey Perry is such a little bitch - totally agree with you there.

Even though Pronger is gone, the stench still lingers in the air, like the rank cloud left drifting on the air in the wake of a road-killed skunk.

AlphaOnOne said...

That was one of the more disgusting things I've read on your site. I but I heartily agree.

Earl Sleek said...

"You know, this is really, really well written, Lamp."

Hey, thanks -- it's an idea that seemed easy enough when the thought occurred to me, but wow it's tough to write a while without ever making sense.

Thankfully that worked out -- that was one of those posts where halfway in I was kind of wishing I had a Plan B.

David said...

i miss happy huddy too :(

cmk said...

Yes, I hate Perry too, but Getzlaf just looks so ridiculously goofy with that helmet that perches on the tippity top of his odd-shaped head, that I don't know who to hate more.

I agree with Baroque: the stench definitely lingers.

And the 'translated' article was as hard to read as it must have been to write. Okay, NOT as hard, but damn near close.