Game #15 -- Red Wings @ Blue Jackets

DETROIT RED WINGS 9 - 1 COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS


...the fuck?

• I did not see that coming. Not at all. I did think that by some strange form of reverse-reverse logic that the Wings would win (you know, as opposed to a legitimate reason such as "talent"), but not this way. There is nothing to complain about. In other words, this game was Drew Sharp's worst nightmare.

• This was the biggest beat down that the Wings have ever laid on the BJ's, and it was their worst home defeat in their franchise's storied history. Even the Ron Tugnutt days didn't see one this bad.
  

• Dating back to the first round of the 2009 playoffs, the Wings have scored somewhere between ten and eleventy thousand goals on Steve Mason. In fact, I just scored on him. Did you see me -- were you looking? Here, I'll do it again for you. Bam. Just scored another one. Dammit I know you weren't looking Tram, pay attention. With my eyes closed this time, watch this: HooAHH. This is too easy.

• Yes, even #44 managed to bury one, although he nearly quadruple-clutched the opportunity away and the goal had to be reviewed to make sure it actually happened. Seriously, the dude can't even score right.

• (note I forgot to mention first time around... ^^^ The Wings should just try that play on every rush with Pav on the ice. He floats down to one of the wings with the puck and stops, letting all of the action + Homer fly toward the net, as they always assume the puck is going to follow him to the crease. But Pav does his usual patience thing, waits an extra second or two and waits for that trailing 3rd man, who we've seen time and time again be wiiiiiide open. With all of the crazy free-styling and ad-libbing that Pav does, this is the only recognizably repeatable thing that he does, and because he's Jesus, he makes it work more times than not.)
  

• Discussion between a friend and I during the 2nd Intermission: how does #44 eat? He has like four of his bottom teeth missing, it doesn't look like he can bite anything. Does he just man up and gum his food? Does Babcock chew it up and then drop it in his mouth like a mother bird? Does he only eat the liquefied brains of his victims? I'm much more interested in this than any of the Steve Moore stuff.

• Astounding stat during the game: the first six goals were scored by six different players, and for each of them it was their 3rd goal of the season.

• Certainly not the "Gamewrecker" = Chris from NOHS.

• Top 3 Wings:

I'm going to be totally gay and say "The Detroit Red Wings". This game had a wicked pace to it for the entire 60 minutes. They were getting out of the zone in a hurry, pinning the BJ's deep and keeping them there (I love watching Helm and Eaves work together), causing turnovers, getting to the net, and doing anything else in their power to spoil Hitch's 1000th game. His post game buffet of deep fried chocolate cake and gravy juice probably tasted a little bitter.