November 30, 2009

A Look at Some Red Wing Christmas Lists


7:30 -- Joe Louis Arena

Stars: 12-7-7 (31 points), 7th in West | Wings: 12-9-4 (28 points), 9th in West

Stars blog of choice: Penalty Killing


One of the perks of being best friends with Mike and Marian Ilitch (by the way, we're best friends with Mike and Marian Ilitch) is that they like to include you in team activities and stuff. This past weekend was all about the holiday shopping, so Mrs. Ilitch wanted us to tag along and help pick out some Christmas gifts for the players. Except for Jason Williams, who is a Jehovah's Witness (of course).

We were given the wish lists of a few different players. Also, since we're on the cusp of the 13/41-st mark of the season, it sounded like a good time to reset and summarize things a bit. Below are the lists and a thought about each player's status.

  • Dr. Scholl's shoe inserts, size 10
  • Wilson tennis balls
... We're spinning this in a good way: Not a whole lot happens when Drew Miller is playing. At even strength, seven total goals have been scored with him on the ice this season -- 2 for, 5 against (which includes his time spend in Tampa). Last game against St. Louis was his first as a Wing that he finished in the minus column in nine total games. You know that you're going to get a good effort out of him every time out. He's really not a bad guy to have in the lineup as a bottom six plug-in. Although I'm still waiting for the day when that Duck blood creeps up and he tears off Paul MacLean's mustache or something.

  • Norelco T980 Accuvac beard & mustache trimmer
  • Wool socks
  • About six more injuries to various players to increase ice time
... (Sort of an odd request, but we'll check Target anyway.) Meech hasn't drawn the ire of Red Wing fans to the same extent that Ericsson and Lebda have at certain points of the season, but it's not like he's been given much of a chance to make us hate him. He's averaging the least amount of ice time of any defenseman by far (10:31 / game ... even Janik played 13:56 in his lone appearance). Kyle at BDS made a good point about Jakob Kindl, wondering what better time than now to give him some playing time. He could fill in for those nine or ten minutes instead of toying around with Meech, who doesn't seem to fit the future plans if he's not getting any ice time now.

  • Auto-Tune EFX software
  • Raekwon's Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Pt. II
  • Assorted tupperware
... It didn't take long for Patrick Eaves to start growing on people. He's fast, and I like how he works the boards in the offensive zone. Did you know that not a single Wing has a higher plus-minus than his +5? Or that he's got the best per-game Corsi average? YEAH I SAID IT. You may blindly hate the Corsi number if you're reading too much into what somebody is saying about it, or you might have some legitimate beef with it. Or you might not know what the fuck it is (simply a ratio of the shots your team records with you on the ice versus the shots allowed). Basically it seems like Eaves is doing the best job of creating pressure in the offensive zone, which is nullifying an attack coming back the other way. That hasn't translated to many goals scored for the Wings, but still, the way he plays is admirable.

  • Gum
  • Nothing else
... Nope, don't change a thing. Everything's all squared away, it's all in place. He's got all he needs. No dilly dallying or tinkering or any of that bullshit, it just wastes time. Precious time that the Master Plan needs to in order to marinate and simmer and eventually boil over into something visible that makes us go, "Oh, I see what he's doing now -- maybe I'll stop trying to sound so smart and just give this dude a pat on the back since his dick has seen more success in last 20 minutes than I have in my entire life."

  • Garfield & Friends seasons 3 and 4 on DVD
  • Xbox 360 controller / rechargeable battery pack
  • Michael Phelps
... Last year, Homer was a bit confused by the Rosetta Stone commercials and was disappointed that his edition did not actually come with Michael Phelps.

  • New Moon duffel bag and Team Jacob matching tank top
  • Vintage Flapper-era Pube Primp from the Winifred Matheson collection
... You really had to have watched Fil in his first 11 games to understand why so many of us were upset when he got injured. Look at his stats and you see 2 goals, 4 assists and a glaring minus-6 rating. But you could see a different hockey player from what what he was a year ago.

We're still looking at another month without him and each passing day brings more sadness. I felt worse for him -- about how he was playing with such confidence and was turning into a really, really effective player -- than how I felt about it affecting the team I watch. I just hope he doesn't come back thinking that he has to do more than he's capable of.

  • Thomas S. Kuhn's The Structure of Scientific Revolutions in paperback
  • Home Depot gift card
  • CCM Vector V10.0 hockey stick
... Nick probably figures that Alex Ovechkin is using a CCM stick, so he should probably consider a switch since he's sporting one goal on 1.8 % shooting this season. It's totally the equipment. It's not his age or a greater attention to his own end -- it's his Easton stick.

Part of what you get with your subscription to this blog is blunt honesty (I think). So I'm going to put this out there: I have nowhere near a smart enough hockey mind to break down and analyze what Nick is doing differently this year compared to his previous 17 seasons. If you've spotted something, I'm all ears. Or I guess "eyes" would be more accurate. But until then I'm going to continue to fabricate excuses for him that completely ignore rationality and reason.

  • Wooden keg; 450 pounds of gun powder; bowling ball; roughly three feet of rope; old-time metal ball alarm clock; one of those gigantic portraits of open road that tricks people into driving through them; and probably some duct tape just in case.
... This certainly raises a red flag.


Anonymous said...

Tram's Christmas Shopping List

Little House on The Prairie Tickets (I am hoping once I purchase these that Olympia Entertainment will stop sending me the f***ing emails about them)


Lump of coal

Lots and lots of duct tape*

*Thanks for a belly laugh this morning

mrfluffy said...

I once tried to date a Jehovah Witness co-worker. At first the flirting was reciprocated, then ignored, and when I gave up, I got molested. Flaky at best.

Oh wait...were we talking about the girl or JWill?


Who in the hell is Winifred Matheson?

Word of the day-


Come to think of it, I never got to see her d...nevermind.

Triple Deke Staff said...

I made up Winifred Matheson. I'll consider it a moral victory if anybody Googled it.

- Tyler

mrfluffy said...

She's old...let's just leave it at that.


Osrt said...

**Raekwon's Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Pt. II**

Wow dude. I had no idea you were a fan of Wu. This album if fuching ridiculously awesome.

King Lidas has been worrying me as well, but I try to keep in mind Malik's observation that he usually starts slow. My hope is that he is like Roger Federer (both are very similar in my head) and is just experiencing a brief lull before dominating again.

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J.J. from Kansas said...

^^^Who knew the owner of the Cowboys was into that sort of stuff?

Lidstrom is shooting from farther back on the blue line and from a more extreme angle than usual. That said, his shots will eventually start going in, it's not like he's lost 15 miles per hour on it or anything.

I'd like to get Pavel Datsyuk a hug for Christmas. He looks like he could use one.

cmk said...

Every day when I boot up the old computer, the only thought I have is " I can go and see what The Triple Deke has to say today." You don't disappoint. And I savor every word--while I'm spewing coffee at my monitor.

word verification: outbawk--sounds like a chicken is trying to talk about Australia.

Triple Deke Staff said...

@ Osrt:

I'm fickle with the hip hop selection, but a bunch of those songs are really good. Not that that's surprising, though. Patrick Eaves knows all of this apparently.

"^^^Who knew the owner of the Cowboys was into that sort of stuff?"

Very well played. I guess I tripped an alarm or something.

@ cmk-

I feel honored. I never imagined such a thing when we cut the ribbon on TTD. Happy birthday again.

- Tyler

David said...

Lidstrom uses a Warrior now. some fan you are you heartless bastard!!!!1

love the blog btw

Doug said...

The Gear Whore in me is compelled to inform you that Ovechkin, when he's not kneeing opponents, can be found scoring goals with a Bauer Supreme One95 or a CCM U+ CL. And yes, Lidstrom uses a Warrior Dolomite Spyne. If you need me, I'll be at with the other gear nerds trying to covince ourselves that these sticks really perform that much differently.

Triple Deke Staff said...

I guess my search skills are just ... bad. I even tried to double check.

Or maybe we were handed 2007's Christmas lists.

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