December 17, 2009

Don't Lose to the Lightning


TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING @ DETROIT RED WINGS

7:30 -- Joe Louis Arena

Bolts: 11-13-9 (31 points), 13th in East | Wings: 17-11-5 (39 points), 8th in West
___________________________________________________________


Lightning blog of choice: Raw Charge


Before anything else, it must be said that what went down yesterday between Wing fans and a certain Wild blog was too much fun for one Internet. If you were involved, thank you for the laughs. My stomach was sore from trying not to laugh out loud in public. I haven't experienced that much joy in watching somebody melt down since Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson at the 3:50 mark of this clip. (Whenever I hear "The goalie!", I feel like somebody handed me a thousand dollars. Each time I watch this it instantly becomes the greatest moment of my life.)

This is a "Must not lose" game. You save "must wins" for when you're on a losing streak and need a victory more than you need a change of pants after an 18-wheeler doesn't get the fuck over and let you on the freeway and you almost crash because the dickhead driving the truck was too busy looking down below for cars with girls just barely hot enough for him to blow a load that he's been trying to kill off into his steering wheel for the past 65 miles. I'm totally not pulling this from real life, for the record.

The Wings really should not lose this game. The Bolts have lost eight of their last nine games; they are on the fourth game of a road trip in which they've been outscored 15 - 5; Tuesday night they gave up seven goals to Nashville -- a notion which I had previously thought to be against some sort of scientific principle. (Gravity, I think. Yeah. that sounds right. Oh, and that witchcraft that measures energy. What is that shit -- joules? Fuck it we're going with joules.) If the Wings lose this game, you will probably hear Larry Murphy's microphone pick up the sound of Babcock going flaccid. And not so shockingly, that happens to sound like the collapsing of a thousand suns. It will not make for a pleasant post game speech.

*****





So it turns out there aren't an abundance of good Lightning videos out there.

18 comments:

HockeyTownTodd said...

Tagging a matchup as
"Must Not Lose"
the night before has got to be some kind of curse.

Rob said...

After the beatdown The Chief laid on Pinky and his sideshow site, I could care less if we win this game. Today made my weekend.

Triple Deke Staff said...

I think this team is a little beyond cursed at this point, Todd.

J.J. from Kansas said...

I agree with the "must not lose" tag. It says a lot about a team's mentality the way they play against teams struggling to stay out of the basement. That 4-1 loss to Edmonton still sticks. Losing to Tampa Bay tonight would be unacceptable.

Word verification: crampa.

Natalie said...

If the Wings lose this game, you will probably hear Larry Murphy's microphone pick up the sound of Babcock going flaccid.

You never fail to awe me with your brilliance, Tyler. Amazing.

Anonymous said...

Jeff OKWingnut

FYI: If, if, the Wings win tonight, it will be the 1st time this season they have won 4 straight. ACK

Congrats Sparty.

mrfluffy said...

Dave Mishkin....so that's the sound of pets being sacrificed.

appind

*raises eyebrow

ChristineRWBNB said...

Jeff OKWingnut, you just had to say it, didn't you? Now I'm going to have to watch this whole game from behind my fingers like a 13-yo girl at the horror movie. *sigh*

Nightmare on Helm Street said...

I share the "must not lose" sentiment. I don't think I could stand seeing them drop a game to a team that has a better record than Carolina...and no one else.

Word Verification: aredhsju

David said...

i MUST see this epic Wild Blog vs. Wings fans showdown!!! care to tell me which Wild blog it was?

cmk said...

Nothing to add here. Had fun reading the beat-down yesterday and will be watching the game tonight with the barf bag close at hand. That is WAY too common a thing this season.

Triple Deke Staff said...

David,

It started, unprovoked, at Hockey Wilderness 2 or days ago with a post directed at A2Y. Then we had a blast in the comment section.

Triple Deke Staff said...

Tagging a matchup as
"Must Not Lose"
the night before has got to be some kind of curse
.

Question for the readers: how do you define a curse or jinx? I ask because it always seems that my friends and I end up in a "you jinxed us" debate, about what is and is not a jinx/curse. For example -- Game 6, 2008 Finals ... Wings were up 3-2 in the last minute and I, like you all, was losing my mind. I probably said "They're going to tie it" 50 times. My friends claimed this was a jinx, while I thought it was the opposite. A jinx would be saying that the game was in the bag, that we couldn't lose.

I guess this isn't really related to the original comment, since saying that a home game against the Lightning is one we should win is common sense, and not a curse or jinx. Whatever. I was just curious where other people stand on this.

- Tyler

J.J. from Kansas said...

I don't believe in curses or jinxes, I just keep my damn mouth shut about shutouts and the team looking really good to keep the other Tyler from casting evil spells on me.

Andy said...

Nightmare on Helm Street said...

I share the "must not lose" sentiment. I don't think I could stand seeing them drop a game to a team that has a better record than Carolina...and no one else.

Word Verification: aredhsju


I love it when someone else than me posts the secret word.

For this one it is: coldi

Anonymous said...

I am a huge believer in jinxes. I'm sure you have gotten that from me, correct? That said... what is a jinx?? It's like pornography, I can't explain it exactly, but I know it when I see it.

I can spot a jinx a mile away. Goddamn, I am always right too. Okay, no more talking about inxjas.

Tram

Triple Deke Staff said...

That said... what is a jinx?? It's like pornography, I can't explain it exactly, but I know it when I see it.

If I had a quotes section for the sidebar, this would go up there immediately.

Anonymous said...

JIMMAH!

WINGS_FAN_IN_KC