April 24, 2010

Conference Quarterfinals, Game 5 -- Red Wings @ Coyotes


The next three goals were huge.

The game was on a knife edge, as Scottish people say (I heard a Scottish person say that one time), and Martin Hanzal had an opportunity to ruin our lives. There he was, one-on-one against our very old rookie goalie who looks more and more like a young veteran goalie with each passing ginormous save.

Here was the save of his life, to this point:

Usually my reaction is to not cheer big saves. I just exhale, look to the heavens (whatever direction the nearest Culver's restaurant is) and pee a little. This one though, I fist pumped until I couldn't feel my feelings anymore.

After what hopefully will be the turning point in the season which leads to 14 consecutive stress-less wins by an average score of 11 goals, the Wings' skaters turned it on for a second straight 3rd period and ran over the Coyotes with three unanswered scores.

Now only if we can get Game 6 moved to Monday night from the always-sluggish Sunday afternoon slot.

Other thoughts ....

  • Listening to a playoff hockey game on the radio is absolute murder. I don't know how Herm does it. For the entire first period, that's what we were forced to do as the Dekemobile traversed toward its game-watching destination. Even more troublesome than not being able to see anything is knowing that the Wings all time goal differential when I listen to the radio is something around minus-200. To my complete surprise, the period finished 1-0 Wings.
  • I don't know if the Phoenix goal was interference or not. I just don't understand this shit anymore. Whatever they decide, I'll deal with it. I may have to deal with it by using illegal substances purchased from dangerous areas of my neighborhood, but it's the playoffs and I have to step my game up. All I know is that when the puck hit the back of the net, Jovanovski's skate looked like it was attempting to sever Jimmy's dick and I sort of wanted to throw up.
  • It was revealed that Employee #44 is a huge fan of James Taylor. What do I add to this? What possible joke could come after saying this? That sentence alone is great enough on it's own that I don't even want to touch it. I don't even have anything against James Taylor -- it's just ........ are we sure he's #44's favorite musical act? Is it certain? Because I would've layed $100 down on it being Insane Clown Posse. That's all I'm saying.
  • Brad Stuart played the most minutes of any Wing (26:31), including a team-high 5:26 on the PK, which killed off all five Phoenix power plays. I feel like I only talk about Stu when bad things happen, so this is me trying not to do that.
  • Something important needs to be addressed promptly: If you watched the game on TV, you may have seen a lady Red Wings fan behind one of the benches, wearing a Wings jersey with gloves and a scarf. In Phoenix. Phoenix, Arizona. I don't care if the arena temperature is lower because of the ice -- I want all zero of the non-Red Wings fans who read this blog to know that this women does not represent our fans in any way, shape or form.
  • Ha! More like Vernon Penis Fiddler. Am I right? Am I right? I know I'm right.
  • Why does Jimmy never, ever seem like he's in a hurry to jump to the opposite post on a wrap around? Each time he does this it takes larger and larger chunks off of my life expectancy. I'm down to like 48 years old after last night. This summer, Jim Bedard's #1 priority should be hypnotizing Jimmy into thinking that the puck is actually a bacon cheeseburger.
  • Can't even discuss the Lilja "penalty" in the 3rd period. I'm not ready yet.
  • The second goal was beautifully ugly, but the 3rd and 4th were just beautiful. On the 3rd goal, you had Homer working like a dog on the boards, Franzen coming up with another great pass (underrated improvement in his game), and Datsyuk's cold blooded finish. On the 4th goal, Fil wanted the puck more than Jovanovski did; and then Z flipped in a backhand from a tough angle to seal it.
  • Before you chastise us for willfully listening to the radio for part of this game knowing full well how bad it makes the team play, you should know that with the full TTD squad together (this includes Fake Herm), the Wings are 5-0 this season and 3-0 this series. The Wings have won the last four of those game by a combined 13 goals, and not once did anyone's pants have to come off. I'm disappointed to say that we'll be separated from each other's essence tomorrow, but come on, it's just a stupid superstition.


Osrt said...

I was too 'frosty' to catch the nuances of the game, so I appreciate the hungover-friendly recap. You're good friends sirs.

Jimmah is stellar and quickly making a reputation for himself. If he doesn't let in any long bombs in his playoff career he might earn the kind of respect Ozzie deserves.

I saw the first period more clearly and Fil was fuching beastly. He was playing center on a line with Z; that's crazy.

more of my thoughts available at asslesschaps.com

Anonymous said...

The universe makes a little more sense today.

Whenever 'ol whiny and insipid James Taylor sings at some entertainment extravaganza I would beseech the heavens and ask "Who could possibly like this craptastic singer?" Now I know. Let's have JT sing at 44's retirement party. Butterburgers are on me. Go Wings.


Sullyosis said...

Should have heard Tyson Nash on the Lilja penalty: "Oh yeah, no question there." And David Strader steps in: "If you're a Wings fan, you're probably wondering what the fuck this retard to my right is saying. I'd bitchslap him for you if I didn't already know it turns him on, sick little faggot."

David said...
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David said...
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David said...

when Jimmy made that save, i screamed "JIMMY FUCKING HOWARD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN"

and then awkwardly looked around my empty living room...