May 25, 2010

Yzerman Bolts for Tampa


(Get the joke? He "bol...." oh go to hell.)





First of all, if you have never seen this picture before, I feel humbled that the greatest moment of your life took place at The Triple Deke.

Second, Stevie Y took the GM job in Tampa Bay, if you hadn't yet heard.

Third, turn that frown upside down. Then crack your mouth open a little bit because it looks fucking creepy when people have a u-shaped Joker smile with no teeth. I don't mess around with that shit. If you look at me like that I'm going to assume that you're thinking about doing something to me that breeches my civil rights, and typically in this situation I react by deploying blunt force trauma to your throat with my fist.

Be happy for this man. He's got a job that only 29 other people in the world get to do. (Well I'm not sure if what Steve Tambellini is doing in Edmonton is considered a "job" ... at least I hope he's not getting paid for doing that.) And it doesn't mean that he's going to spend the next 50 years in Florida running the Lightning. Once Ken Holland decides to hang up his phones (lol) and call it a career, we can all make a trip down to Tampa -- we'll make a weekend out of it and refer to it as like "H2H5", probably -- and kidnap him back and bring him home. It will be just like that movie Celtic Pride, except Stevie won't inexplicably be friends with us in the end. Because we'll go to jail. For a long time. But it will be okay because he'll be back where he belongs, and we will be too.

Now I will kick back and wait for the arrival of my newest purchase:




8 comments:

mrfluffy said...

"First of all, if you have never seen this picture before, I feel humbled that the greatest moment of your life took place at The Triple Deke"

Thank you, sweet baby Jesus, for allowing this...

Or some shit like that. Fuck man...Stevie is gone (even if it's temporarily).

Nice card. Steve Yzerman...business up front...but boy can he party out back.

AxeMaster9 said...

Listen I agree with everything you said but you have to take down that picture. Not the mullet, hell who hasnt wanted that look, but the Yzerman Bolts jersey. Makes me shiver with disgust. 100% support to Yzerman for taking the job but he has never and will never wear a Tampa Bay jersey.

Osrt said...

"Steve Yzerman...business up front...but boy can he party out back."

Definitely has some junk in the trunk.

Definitely rooting for him and his success. The man is so classy he inspires even me to be classy. That's crazy jedi power.

Triple Deke Staff said...

Damn, Axe. I'm glad I didn't mention the matching lightning bolt underoos.

Baroque said...

That jersey is one of the most hideous things I've ever seen - and I've helped feed hairless baby mice to pythons. :)

Rob said...

I'm just glad Yzerman didn't put on a Lightning jersey...

And DAMMNNN Stevie's got an ass on him

Rob R said...

It's the Jordache jeans, they really make your ass look good.

beanie said...

First order of business for Stevie - new classy jerseys