October 24, 2010

Game #7 -- Red Wings vs. Ducks


Corey Perry pimping his mom? Sure. Corey Perry pimping his mom.

In brief...

  • Man, isn't EVERY Game 7 against the Ducks just awesome?
  • Nick Lidstrom cannot be a 42 year old 40 year old like Larry Murphy says. To look at him, you'd say he's only a 28 year old 35 year old. His 3 assists give him a line of 1-7-8 on the year already. Compared to the start Lids had last year it's as if he has been born again, like a 0 year old 0 year old.
  • McElhinney gave up 5 goals in a loss and was the 3rd star of the game. Has this ever happened in a game that didn't take place in 1984?
  • Modano, Hudler ... that's for another day. I started writing a paragraph about them and it just collapsed into itself like a dying star.
  • Pavel Datsyuk is definitively the best player on the ice 99.9 % of his shifts. I can't imagine how badass this feels. In an attempt to replicate this feeling, I'm eating a cold Pop Tart and pretending like it tastes just as good as a toasted one. If you were sitting next to me you wouldn't be able to tell at all that I like it considerably less. It's crazy.
  • Wings don't play again until December of 2015. They'll be taking on the Saskatchewan Predayotes.
  • 5-1-1. And 8-0.

Go Teams I Root For.


saraneuie said...

I tried eating a cold Pop Tart once and everyone could tell I didn't like it nearly as much as hot ones. I can, however, pretend to like gross coffee as much as perfectly-made coffee...still not very Datsyukian of a feeling

cmk said...

I wish I could make a comment that comes close to being as entertaining as your posts are. Never going to happen...

J.J. said...

Cold Pop Tarts are a no-frills way to get the damn job done; they're the Dan Cleary of desserts masquerading as breakfast foods.

monkey said...

Cold Pop Tarts are superior to hot Pop Tarts in several ways.

Firstly, putting jelly-like substance filled pastries in the toaster is dangerous. As a young lad many Junes ago I nearly started a kitchen fire when a Pop Tart got stuck inside the toaster. I had to unplug the thing, take it outside (very gingerly I may add, as it was on fire), and throw it in a snow drift. Crisis averted, however life without a toaster is a sad and dreary existence.

Secondly, toasted Pop Tarts have a crunchy crusty ridge thing around the outside that all normal people avoid due to the obvious presence of Herpes. The outside edge of a fresh Pop Tart is soft, supple, and inviting.

Thirdly, they require no preparation time. If you were truly Datsyukian you wouldn't need to remove them from the bag; you could just insert the whole package (if you were extremely hungry, the whole box) in your mouth, manipulate it with your mind, then spit out the packaging. Actually if you were Datsyukian your mouth would probably also function as a toaster but I have no independent verification of this.

All in all I have to say it appears that your appreciation of Pop Tarts is significantly flawed.