January 16, 2011

Game #45 -- Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets


I can't not do this: it's another transcript of Larry Murphy's between the benches segment before opening face off. It was too "Murph" not to go undocumented.

"EVENING KEN, and we ARE .... seeing TOMAS TATAR .... for his sec-- his second stint with the Wingsplayed five games .... previous to this .... scoring a GOAL ....... in his first NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE gamethis is somebody that brings a lot of ENERGY .... A SKILLED PLAYER HE'S NOT TALL, BUT HE'S WILLING TO MIX IT UP .... creating TURNOVERS ............. STRONG HANDS AROUND THE NET AND HE'S W I L L I N' ..............

............. TO GO TO THOSE DIRTY PLACES .... TOMAS TATAR SHOWING HIMSELF WELL .... HIS FIRST TIME AROUND WITH THE WINGS .... THIS TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLLLLLDDD ............ (Editor's Note: the hell??) .... will have a great opportunity with four regulars .... OFF the POWER PLAY .... don't be surprised to SEE HIM ..... SEE SOME PP TIME ............. Ken ...."

Recap bullets:

  • Coming into this game, Joey Mac had a 0-1-1 record in two relief appearances, despite only allowing one goal. Something about that doesn't exactly seem fair. I hope Jimmy has the decency to repay Joey somehow. Perhaps by listening to more of those mind-numbing Jamie Tardif stories and saying a little more than just "Yeah that's cool can you pass the Doritos?"
  • So, 2-0 Blue Jackets less than five minutes in? Forget fighting the urge to hit fast forward on the DVR of this game -- I wanted to hit fast forward on the next five weeks of this season.
  • Rick Nash did a swell job of pulling up on Nick Lidstrom's stick and drawing that hooking penalty. That was a pretty crafty job by the future goalie murderer. Then the unthinkable happened -- Nick started talking shit to the referee. By God, my eyes were not ready to see that. It felt like seeing your dad swear at a cop over a bogus parking ticket.
  • Shocked -- SHOCKED that Fil finished on that one-timer. Is that the first time he's ever scored from that far out? I'm kidding, I think. I was "unexpectedly see somebody who's missing and eyeball"-level surprised. (By the way, that rush was started by a heady defensive play from Jiri Hudler, People Who Look For Signs of an Imminent Apocalypse.)
  • On the Blue Jackets breakaway goal that made it 3-2 Columbus: Who do you blame here? Kronner for staying in too deep or Hank for not covering for him? Either way, I'm not sure why Kronner is playing that risky in a tie game early in the 2nd period. Oh wait, yeah I do, it's because he's Nik Kronwall.
  • I loved the goal from Raf. He jumped up quickly to force a 3-on-2, wanted the puck, got it, knew he had to get it off quickly and scored (thanks to a goofy bounce. This whole game was goofy bounces.)
  • Joey MacDonald, FSD Player Profile: "Works on parents' farm during offseason." Huh? What is this, the 40s? There are still players who work second jobs during the offseason? Does he smoke cigarettes during intermissions too?
  • Funny moment when Murph catches a puck between the benches and looks legitimately like it may have given him a boner. That's how happy he was. Then the puck exchanged hands a few times and ended up in the possession of a little girl in the stands, who looked 1/1000th as excited as Murph. Larry Murphy is one of the greatest hockey players ever and was more excited to catch a puck than a child. It was like somebody handed her a can of baked beans. What an ungrateful whore.
  • Drapes' had a one-handed poke goal to put the Wings on top 5-4. He now officially has more one-handed goals and goals scored with his face than he does with the conventional slap shot.
  • 5-5, Rick Nash, with only a minute to go. Surprised? Of course not.
  • But never fear. Want to lose a game? Give Johan Franzen three and a half years of alone time in the slot and he'll bury it. Ballgame.

Good for Joey Mac. Gives up 5 and still wins. That probably didn't happen a whole lot in Toronto.

Go Wings.


Osrt said...


I want to print out your transcriptions of Murph and carry them around to make me happy. I'm sad that I missed his bonerhappy moment; I'd love a replay of that.

Baroque said...

Maybe Murph just assumed that Tots was old enough to legally get as drunk as he himself was before the game?

But, yeah, otherwise I don't know how that got in there.

cmk said...

I have TRIED to explain Murph's way of talking to many, many people and have failed miserably. You have NAILED it! And in the process, you have made me giggle like a little girl--once again.

Anonymous said...

Jeff OKWingnut

Geez, finally decided to grace us with your presence??

Nice jab at the Maple Laffs, well played.