February 23, 2011

Game #60 -- Red Wings vs. Sharks


The Sharks take their seventh victory from the Wings in the last nine matchups. They must be getting used to this.

I want to play a game. Not with those of you who saw the Sharks beat the Wings tonight. Just the people who follow the Wings, missed tonight's game, and before hearing or reading anything about it decided to stop here at TTD. So nobody, essentially. Whatever. Here it is:

Hypothetical situation .... puck gets moved back to the point along the boards, is then passed across the blue line to the other defenseman. Without looking up to see if an opposing forward is rushing at him, this defenseman winds up for a one-timer. The shot is then blocked, resulting in a breakaway for the other team and, of course, a goal. If you could somehow bet money as to who this mystery Red Wings defenseman is, the odds would look something like this:

  • 15-1 ..... Brad Stuart
  • 20-1 ..... Brian Rafalski
  • 20-1 ..... Niklas Kronwall
  • 150-1 ..... Ruslan Salei. Mainly because I think he's attempted something like negative-3 shots this year.
  • Infinity-1 ..... Nick Lidstrom. Infinity dollars would be the result of winning this bet. An impossible amount. This would be you -- which is also impossible, since you can't turn yourself into a cartoon. Unless you've clicked on one of those Internet ads that literally say "turn yourself into a cartoon!". Then it's possible, I guess. You've taken the first step to becoming an infinitely rich uncle duck with an enormous vault of gold coinage. Hey, remember that weird half animated movie Cool World with Brad Pitt? I'm drunk.
  • 3-1 ..... Jonathan Ericsson.

I'll blow the surprise for the zero people whom I've allowed to play my little game: It was Johnny E. Not to pin this whole loss on the poor good-looking dumb guy -- I just wanted to concoct yet another reason for me to link the Scrooge McDuck picture again.

But that's been the Sharks/Wings games of the past year. San Jose wanting it just a smidgen more, making smarter plays, and probably doing a tiny bit of out-coaching.

Just a few recap bullets:

  • Shots were 43-38 San Jose. When's the last time the Wings played a game where both teams had that many shots? Probably like a week ago, or more frequently than I think and I'm just really unobservant. But that caught my eye.
  • After pulling out two more goals, it's time for the obligatory "this line needs a name" movement. Huds/Pav/Cleary is too white hot to go nameless. And, naturally, I have no ideas. It's Cleary that ruins it, honestly. If he had an oddly shaped head like the other two, we'd have the "Holy fuck, please put your helmet back on" line.
  • Ryane Clowe, who was doomed at birth to be a cock because of the spelling of his first name, slew footed Johan Franzen and then ate his own shit in anger when called for a penalty. It was truly a sight. He committed a blatant penalty, and yet, reacted like somebody who couldn't believe the "you ARE the father" results on Maury. Imagine how he'd react if he were actually wrongly accused of something? That reminds me, stay tuned next week for the conclusion of my "Frame Ryane Clowe for an unspeakably heinous crime just to see his reaction" experiment.

That's all. Go Wings.


mrfluffy said...

Babs having the fourth line out against Jumbo Choke's line twice in the 3rd is just...

nesdude said...

My sister and I started calling the line "Short Man and Magic Hands, with Cleary." Yeah, it doesn't roll of the tongue, but it works.

Chris said...

Summed it up well. I wasn't mad about this.

ITDeuce said...

Over at A2Y I tried starting "The PBR Line" but no one seemed to take it.


Kind of Calvin and Hobbesesque.

Anonymous said...

nice recap, you got a laugh outta me. how about PBnJ - Peanut Butter and Jam.

itrusteddrrahmani said...

I'd still bet on Brett Lebda

Fox said...

I'm with Chris; I wasn't mad in the least!

OK, I really came by to see Drew Miller get propped, but you lazy sods were too drunk to get the recap up, so I dropped down a post or 3 to get in my regular-season elbow. You learn to take your victories where you can, says I.