March 30, 2012

Game #78 -- Red Wings vs. Predators


Fuck THAT shit.
  • I've never seen a person eye-fuck a camera the way that Drew Miller does in this photo. That doesn't look like a guy who probably keeps an assortment of hard candies in an old Ed Sullivan novelty tin, but it is.
  • I just want to say: credit to Jonathan Ericsson for desperately trying to keep the backward fitted baseball cap alive. For a guy who often appears to have a hockey IQ on par with this guy and is an allegedly not-retarded hockey player, he certainly has enough brains to know how to appeal to my inner Fred Durst fan (who is a shrunken, shriveled up version of a dead Dion Phaneuf.)
  • Next game is Sunday, with the major selling point of course being that the new Fox Sports Detroit girl will be revealed during the game. *SPOILER ALERT* The winner will be Karen Newman when she wallops the actual winner with a steel chair and tears out her scalp to wear it as a victory crown.
  • I chained myself to a couch after destroying my back at work yesterday morning. I'm not seeking pity -- I'm just offering a poor-at-best explanation for why I was watching an hour's worth of NFL Network's "Top 10 nicknames" this afternoon. It made me think, once again, of the "Eurotwins" moniker and how much disdain I have for it. Take off your Red Wings fan hat for a moment (which is tinfoil and molded in the shape of Mike Babcock's testicles) and ask yourself: is there a worse nickname in all of sports? Not only are they not twins, but there's actually a pair of European twins who are teammates in the NHL and are really good. And are they even 100% "Euro"? Datsyuk's from Russia.... that's like, sort of Asian. Not "Jiri Hudler's eyes" sort of Asian -- I mean like it's actually kind of in/around/on the continent of Asia. It's by China and stuff. And even if you wanted to play up the twins thing anyway: Their games aren't that similar; they're just both great hockey players (with one being a level above the other). Pain medication is cool, by the way.
  • I don' t think this was Babcock's finest hour. That's about as close as I can come to saying something negative about him. I'd sooner fabricate something entirely fictional like "My dad has sex with dead bodies on top of a bunch of other dead bodies" and frame it as truth before saying something really bad about Babcock.
  • That Rinne save on Zetterberg late in the 2nd period was absolutely insane. Saves like that are the reason I won't even bat an eyelash when the Preds beat us in five games in the first round. (Relax, relax. I'm like 55% sure that I'm joking.)

With a confused sigh: Go Wings.


Kevbo said...

If I was funnier, I'd say something to cheer you up. But I'm not funny. So here's this.

Anonymous said...

Tyler... You're fucking clown shoes... And it's bout time you brought some necrophilia to this damn blog.... Nugget porn can't be to far along...

Anonymous said...

"Saves like that are the reason I won't even bat an eyelash when the Preds beat us in five games in the first round."

Serious Tyler, what the fuck.

vockeea said...

I concur with the above. What the fuck?!