If Nashville didn't have enough motivation to put a team on the ropes that has been their measuring stick since entering the NHL 14 years ago, they were clearly sent over the edge by having their ping pong play time taken away.
This recap was going to go one of two ways: A long and extravagant celebration of life, or a hurried mess of anger because I just want to be asleep. On with the bullets.
A game away from elimination and my playoff beard isn't even in the "Hair" stage yet.
Congratulations to Ian White on his first body check in five years. And I don't want to alarm anybody but I think he's slowly turning into Josh Brolin.
The Wings have been playing David Legwand for all these years, and the name is still funny. But now it goes in cycles. Like every 15th mention of "Legwand" is hilarious again. It's like when a full moon happens, if that was childish and at all a logical comparison.
Guys, quit booing Weber when he touches the puck. He was here for a year, we almost won a Cup, it didn't work out. Let's move on.
I think the "TODD-BER-TOO-ZEE" chants are 9% because people really like him and 91% just because it's really fun to chant.
We'll win this series is Babcock makes every necessary adjustment. Every one of those adjustments starts with taking a cattle prod to Johan Franzen's chest.
Intent to Blow. This completely horseshit and seemingly made-up call happens to a Red Wings opponent. It was a miracle! Oh, what a joyous time to be alive! The sun momentarily rose to splash sunshine on my face. A family of deer walked into my living room to eat bread crumbs from my hand. I called loved ones that I hadn't spoken to in years. And in the middle of a conversation with my great uncle Bob, Nashville bodies become occupied by hockey gods and score the goal anyway. I called Uncle Bob a disgrace to the family and told him I hope Barbaro tramples him for an eternity in hell before hanging up on him.
Rinne on his knees is as tall as Hudler standing up. Ha.
And the back-breaker: the 2nd Nashville goal. Can a goal in a tie game be called a back-breaker? I'm trying to. When three guys and a goaltender chase a puck carrier out to Flint and leave the net abandoned, that's pretty unreal. That's going in the "Won't forget that one for a few years" category.
The Wings now need a win against the Blackhawks in the final game of the season as well as a Nashville regulation loss in order to finish 4th. Otherwise this will be the 2nd instance that they've started the playoffs on the road since Jesus times.
I don't know if I'm more troubled by the loss or how boring this game was. There have been a number of just flat out boring games lately. I don't know, maybe I'm a tool. I'm probably a tool.
I honestly thought that New Jersey's backup keeper Johan Hedberg died like three years ago from natural causes. I was wrong. Keep on keepin' on, Johan.
Zach Parise was named MVP of the Devils by his teammates this season. (MVP stands for "We'll miss you when you're playing for the Red Wings next season" in Hebrew, or something.)
Realistically, I don't even know what the odds are of Parise signing with us in the offseason. He's one of my favorite hockey players ever, really, just a joy to watch. So naturally my brain assumes to put this dream in the "Too good to be true" file and not get too excited about it. But if he does come here, we're renaming the blog after Mr. Parise. I don't know what it would be called, but my initial thought is "The Triple Deke presented by Zach Parise", or "Zach Parise's No Pants Zone", or "Sanford & Son" (because if it happens I might have a stroke and turn completely nonsensical.)
When the Red Wings record 4 shots on Martin Brodeur through the first 19 minutes of a game against the Devils, it's really hard to have a firm grasp on what decade you're in.
I wish it were legal for Babcock to put a shock collar around Bertuzzi's neck to be used when Bert skates into an offensive zone corner and looks to throw a blind pass back toward his own blue line. But nevertheless, he'd just find a way to let the collar loosely dangle down to his chest.
Franzen took the majority of the faceoffs for the Franzen/Datsyuk/Bertuzzi line. IS DATSYUK OKAY??!?
I enjoyed Hudler's setup of Holmstrom's power play goal in the 2nd period. But come on, Brodeur -- you looked awfully silly. Hudler has taken 12, maybe 13 shots in his entire career. Yes, by the book he did the right thing by playing the shooter and leaving Homer to be covered by one of his defensemen, but you don't use fancy things like "books" when it comes to dealing with Jiri Hudler. Jiri has read one book in his whole life, and even then it was just to impress a studious-looking chick in his American history class and he thought a few vocab words like "carpetbagger" and "abolitionism" might do the trick. You need a Halloween bag full of angel dust and vile of unicorn blood to out-think Jiri Hudler -- not a fucking hockey book.
Oh my god, Bryce Salvador is still alive too? Do other people know this?
Only one left. This regular season flew by. Go Wings.
We've got a special episode this week. Joining the crew for episode 20 is Michelle (@slapshotg0al) who talks about a very cool little endeavor called Operation Eaves. If you haven't checked that out already, do it. It's pretty awesome, and another reminder that Red Wings fans aren't total scumbags (really!).
Go here to listen to the show or download it at iTunes.